We’re all fairly familiar with our particular karmic propensities—I’m guessing. Do you tend toward guilt, feeling bad, needing to know everything, being needed, wanting to be right, afraid of making a mistake, abandonment, fear or anxiety, anger, control…. Take a moment and pick your top three or four.
You’ve probably noticed that a lot of the conversation in your head coalesces around those karmic “favorites,” yes? For instance, I’m trying to avoid the situation so I can avoid the feeling or I’m reviewing my latest entanglement with the people/event “causing” the emotion or I’m busy doing something that will distract me from the whole thing. Simply said, I set up my life around those karmic issues. I go toward or push away in an effort to have a particular relationship with the particular karma—rarely if ever knowing that’s what I’m doing.
An example: “I don’t like to be told what to do. Ticks me off when people try to control me. I’m a capable, competent adult and I don’t like being treated like a child. I can make my own decisions. Fact is I’m a whole lot smarter than most of the fools trying to tell me what to do. And, I spend a lot of time and energy trying to avoid those people and situations that want to fence me in.”
What happens next?
“I’m going along. I see a situation, make a decision, and do what I know is the best thing to be done.”
“People start yelling at me about not communicating, making autonomous decisions, not being a team player. Idiots! It was the only intelligent thing to do!”
Here’s what we’re going to be looking at A LOT going forward in practice:
I did what I did so I could continue the conversation in my head.
I’m not having the conversation in my head because of anything “out there.” It’s not the situation, the people—it’s not even me! It’s karma. The conversation sets up the circumstances, events unfold, results happen, and the conversation continues.
Said a different way: Karma is the incessant push toward what fulfills karma.
Here’s what we’re going to hear in the days to come, “Can you see how you did what you did so you can have that conversation in your head?”
Ouch, huh? But once we get used to it, the ouch is gonna be on egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Right where we want it!