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From the Guide

This offering of “From the Guide” features excerpts from the current email class!

Suffering is a universal process, and when we train to see the process of suffering in operation we have the opportunity to transcend it. As responses have come in for this class, we’ve noticed a new bamboozle: The con artist convinces us that we understand the con game and so we can stop looking for it! This class is assisting us to keep looking beyond “my karma” to see how karma operates outside of our awareness of how it works.  In exploring the way “I” am all enneatypes, we get to see beyond what “I” thinks it is.

Enneatype One

This speaks to one of my areas of greatest struggle. I grew up always watched for missteps. Now I am the watcher, of myself and others. Behind this mask, it is hard to be present, joyful, compassionate, to appreciate the “is,” not seek the “should.” It’s living half a life. R/L

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It’s not even half, actually. Here’s the first place to drop the story: Just about everyone grew up being watched for missteps and internalized that process. That’s a big part of what gave ego its opening to take over a human life. Now you’re seeing how that’s playing out currently. That’s the place to focus. Doesn’t matter what happened in childhood. Doesn’t matter what happened a minute ago! You’ve seen the system in action and your job—your opportunity—is to remove it from office! You can see that what you’re seeking is being kept from you because attention is habitually directed to conditioned mind. Time to break that habit, get current, turn attention to thisherenow, and have that joyful presence that is yours to have. Gassho

Oneness triggered by perceived racism. Based on fear of harm to my wife and children who are/were black. But it's egocentrickarmicconditioningselfhate creating story. No actual present harm threatened. Pushes belief in moral superiority and what should be. Causes head-in-the-sand response. End up afraid-angry but nothing to do. Anger goes underground. R/L

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This is another wonderful example of how egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate turns the best in us against us. You love people who are targets for racism. You’re sensitive to all people subjected to racism. That’s a tender place in your heart. What do the voices of self-hate do with that? Turn that sensitivity into judgment, comparison, shoulds, fear, and anger. Anger goes underground, and so does the tender sensitivity. True? At the risk of sounding like a song from the 60s, the world needs Love. We need Unconditional Love. All God’s children need Unconditional Love—and I don’t mean just the two-legged ones! Gassho

Enneatype Two

I see that "my love makes the world go around" gets activated when "I" feel vulnerable or unhappy, and when I am just doing what I choose, it fades. R/L

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What you’re exploring can be what’s often referred to as a slippery slope. Ego feels vulnerable or unhappy (we know it’s always claiming to feel something that requires us to give it attention), and that signals “you need to do something to fix this.” It could seem the answer is to always do what ego wants so it won’t be unhappy, right? What we get to see here is that both those choices—doing something for someone else or just doing what I choose—are ego-feeding choices. What we’re going for in awareness practice is presence that enables us to follow Life’s guidance. There’s no place for ego in that choice! Gassho

I don’t feel indispensable, I like to honestly give my best. At the same time I am aware I also use my empathy and sensitivity as a means to creating a friendly atmosphere for me to live in as I often feel shy, especially on the workplace.

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As we practice awareness it’s sometimes difficult to recognize how the judgments of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate are slipping in. The fact that we genuinely wish others well and want to assist them is not negated by the way ego comes in to manipulate a situation. And, we do use our abilities to be the way we need to be to elicit the responses we’re seeking from others. There’s no harm in any of it. The suffering happens when we can’t tell the difference between genuine/authentic and ego-identity. As we continue to observe, the difference becomes more obvious. Gassho

Enneatype Three

When living threeness I built a successful business and supported my large family. The need to succeed drove me to work long hours and, against my nature, become detail oriented. The cost, as always, was my heart and a nagging feeling of distrust. Never actually trusting anybody or anything. R/L

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Great insight. When we can’t trust ourselves, how can we trust anyone else? You gave up you to follow what the voices said you “had” to do. Did you “have to” do that? Unlikely. You could have acknowledged that you “wanted” to do what you did because you wanted to have a successful business and support your big family. We make our choices—yes, egged on by the “should” voices of ego—and then those same voices want us to see ourselves as victims for having done what we chose. Know what I mean? The Heart is still right with you, as evidenced by the fact that we’re having this conversation! Nothing lost. Want to choose the Heart now? You get to! Gassho

As an music performing artist I've been tormented by egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate's need for more-and-more "success". At times, I haven't followed my heart's desire: creating music joyfully. Blessedly, I have at other times turned attention to Life's voice, dropped ego's chatter, and actually totally been in thisherenow, while performing.

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We find that in the “God is Good” column. All through life we’re having both experiences, ego and authenticity. First one, then the other. Back and forth we go. Eventually, we start to catch on to which is which, and, for most folks, we s l o w l y begin to choose authenticity over ego. That puts us among a very small, very fortunate few. Yes? Ego will get almost everyone who is born to beat their head against the walls ego is erecting so that they can die in bitterness and regret. Time to celebrate our great good fortune! Gassho

Enneatype Four

Longterm chest ache seeing attractive person of certain (changing) type. Mistook as sexual desire. See now longing for what "they" have: good/not defective because meeting egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate standards. Loved seeing desire/reject/desire dynamic. Same process with job/house: have that (no that!) good thing and I'll be good. Practicing owning projection! R/L

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Owning projections—always a good practice, huh? That practice is crucial for us for a reason we don’t often see in the beginning. Owning projections has you looking at what conditioned mind is doing rather than through what conditioned mind is doing. See what I mean? It’s huge! We often talk about starting to look at what goes on inside our head as if someone were walking along beside us saying all the stuff happening in there. Imagine! We would certainly not be confused that “I’m thinking that. That’s me.” THAT is where we want to get with the crapola going on inside our head. We need to get that “I’m NOT thinking that. That’s NOT me.” Gassho

While traveling on vacation, conditioning leads me to notice some unusual landmark, and then reflect on how quickly the next 2 weeks will pass and how I'll notice this landmark on the way back to remind myself how fleeting the vacation was, even though I so looked forward to it. R/L

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Oh, that conditioned mind; ever the wet blanket! It can ruin the past, the present, and the future if we let it. I sense from what you’ve written that you’re not going to let that happen, true? If we’re not paying attention, egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will rob us of a whole lifetime in that very way. Great catch. Gassho

Enneatype Five

Delayed emotions. I cry alone.  When my feelings are hurt attention goes to conditioned mind - "those deep feelings will destroy you, they're unbearable."  Then it beats me for doing nothing.  Human suffers going back & forth. Drains energy.  Now attention is on process.  Practicing with Mentor's love. R/L 

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Good job! Clearly those “deep feelings” won’t destroy you since they haven’t. Clearly those “deep feelings” are not unbearable as you’ve borne them. Those voices are a lying sack of tu tu, aren’t they? And to that lying sack people give all their glorious life energy. You have seen the light and you are now in the “keep all the energy for the human” program. Gassho

Read the assignment, heard, “nope, this is the one not related to you,” R/L’d the assignment, listened and got to see how some five characteristics are familiar. So rather than being in a conversation, there was the space to have and pay attention to the experience. R/L Gassho

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Let’s underline that, shall we? By practicing, R/Ling the assignment and listening, you got to have your own direct experience. What a concept, huh? Not being in a conversation in conditioned mind you got to experience the aware, awake, intelligent human being that we call “you” and you call “me.” WHAT A GIFT!  Thank you for that! Gassho