The story of the fellow and his son and his horse has always been one of my favorite practice parables. It’s the one where “good fortune” is bestowed upon the man and all around him offer congratulations, commenting how wonderful it is. His response, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” And when “misfortune” arrives, the comments are condolences and how terrible. His response, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
I am writing on the journey back from another fabulous trip to Zambia.
During one of the trips a couple of years ago Theresa told us that Regina, one of the first 100 children whom we had gotten to know and enjoy, had, at age 13, gotten pregnant and married. My heart sank. The potential for her to be supported by Living Compassion to have a “better” life foiled.
Each trip we sit down with Theresa to ask what she and the team see as the next steps in the project. “I really want to help the young girls who have become pregnant,” she told us this time. She recounted how Regina’s life had become difficult, for a number of reasons in addition to all the ones you can imagine, and had come to Theresa asking for help. Theresa told Regina it was not too late—she could go back to school. But things escalated, and by the time we arrived Regina had been forced to leave and go to another town to live with a relative.
“I would like to bring her back to Ndola and have her live with me,” Theresa said.
This would be a phenomenal opportunity for Regina. Theresa’s plan is that Regina would go to school and they would pay a neighbor to care for the toddler during the day. Regina would become part of Theresa’s family, joining her young adult son and Memory, the now 19-year-old young woman Theresa took in from Kantolomba several years back. Regina would have something she never had—a quiet, safe, loving, supportive place to finish growing up. If she had not gotten pregnant, she would still be living with her grandmother in Kantolomba, struggling to make it in a challenging environment.
The project in Zambia is my most tangible experience of truly not knowing. We are surrounded by events and circumstances that feel “tragic” and “terrible.” With practice we get to see that it is ALL Life living. All of what happens is Life living. All of how life is in Kantolomba, and our being led to participate and moved to offer what we can is Life living. It is the Nothing Wrong perspective that is the foundation of practice. The inspiring transformation that has happened in the project over these 10 years seems an illustration of what is possible when Nothing Wrong, gratitude wants to give, and Not Knowing are the drivers, rather than a need to fix “what is wrong.” It is a profoundly kind way to live, for all of us!
Gassho,
Jen