As a practice, I have committed to saying “yes.” Of course this has not been 100% over the years but for the most part I want to make a conscious choice to follow Life’s guidance. For the sake of communicating, I would say that there has been a series of “little nos”, “Big Nos”, “little yeses" and “Big Yeses.” The “little nos” and “little yeses” tend to be less threatening and “easier” to do. “No, I’m going to pass on that weekend trip” and “Yes, I’m going hiking with my friends.” Definitely a great practice watching when egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate decides to take control causing angst, separation, etc. I love that Practice is always there to show me the way back to Center.
What I am now exploring are the “Bigger Yeses” — the ones that I honestly want to say a big resounding “NO” to — the ones that threaten my belief system and my way of being in the world. The “Bigger Yeses” open me up to a place of fear and vulnerability. These “Yeses” usually don’t have outcomes attached to them—there’s an unknown factor because there are no answers and I can’t see the whole picture. I am seeing that saying Yes even though there are fears is really where my spiritual journey begins.
Staying in my comfort zone and going on auto-pilot has been the “Big No.” I have ignored my heart’s desire and the true expression of who I am. I begin to doubt my God-given talents and abilities. Creativity stops and passivity sets in. The couch begins to take on the form of my body. There’s a yearning for something different, something better and the suffering begins. If I continued on that path, my life would be driven by my “nos”—little ones and big ones.
I am so grateful that I have said “Yes” to one of the “Bigger Yeses.” I decided to commit to an opportunity presented to me, say Yes every day and see what happens. This practice has become a spiritual journey with my Mentor. I’m not sure where the path will lead but that’s okay because it keeps me in the present moment trusting the path will unfold one step at a time. I am finding that these “Yeses” give me a deeper way of connecting with others and being with the world. I am experiencing the joy of being, expressing who I am through love, laughter, giving and receiving. I am being an active participant in my life. Failure is not possible because along the way I am learning so much more about myself and what I have to offer in this lifetime. Having just spent the day joyfully doing several activities that would have previously scared the tar out of me, I bow in deep gratitude to Bodhi, Dharma and Sangha.
Gassho
Nancy