Most people, I believe, are living four or five years behind the curve of their own transformation. I see it all the time, in my own life and others. The temptation is to stay in a place where we were previously comfortable, making it difficult to move to the frontier that we're actually on now.
—David Whyte
When I read this quote, I thought, “yes, center lives in transformation, in change, in here/now and present moment awareness, it lives on top of the curve or inside the curve and it’s only conditioning that tells me that I’m behind, I’m slow, I’m not keeping up with my own unfolding." I notice that the more I practice, the louder and clearer life becomes. The last few days, I’m hearing life say that I’m held, I’m safe, I’ve always been safe and I’ll always be safe, I’m completely taken care of. Life is also telling me that “my shape” is perfect, that I’m a unique expression of life and perfect in life’s expression. It reminds me of looking at a tree--I don’t complain that the tree is too tall, too short, too fat, too gnarled. It’s a tree, and perfect in its expression.
Before practice, when life spoke loudly through intuition, conditioning would talk me out of the knowing. But the more I sit in meditation, the more I hear life’s wisdom bubbling up from my belly. I experience it as a solid knowing that rises from low in my body, up my torso. Sometimes it’s in words, but more often it’s just a sensation of knowing something with great clarity. I also notice that the more I listen to it, the more it talks to me. Lately, intuition/life has gotten so loud it seems that even my cells hear it. I recognize that life has always spoken through me, but that only now with practice, I’ve learned to listen to what life says.
Gasshō,
Deanna