I’m really glad that we’ve been asked to write this article on Radical Self-Acceptance (or RSA) for In Our Practice because for the last month and a half I have been trying to write an article on Peace and it’s not going well. Why? Well there are several reasons…the first and foremost being… IT’S BORING.

Usually, when I write, I move pretty quickly. I get so involved with what I’m writing that I have to remember to take breaks for such mundane activities as eating and going to the bathroom. I have no trouble writing when I’m being angry and judgmental. I can write something in a matter of hours. But writing about Peace is altogether different. I have to force myself to work on it. It isn’t cathartic. It’s not clever or funny. It doesn’t make me feel superior to anyone. AH-HA…and isn’t that just it in a nutshell?

Feeling superior to someone can feel good, but, in reality, when I’m feeling superior to someone, I can have complete assurance that I’m on the road to feeling inferior to someone. How do I know that? Because, in order to feel superior to someone, I have to be firmly entrenched in the duality of conditioned mind, and, rest assured, Self-Acceptance is not on the menu.

So I decided to put my Peace article on the back burner and try my hand at Radical Self-Acceptance. This morning, while meditating, it came to me. RSA and Peace are exactly the same thing.Native American Holy Man, Black Elk, said, “Peace [RSA] is…that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers…when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that this Center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.” *

I may be wrong, and I have not taken the workshop, but I have a feeling that there’s a difference between Acceptance and Radical Self-Acceptance. Acceptance may have to do with choosing to drop-it-and-come-back-to-the-breath, which as we all know is the most effective way to deal with every single emotion ever created by the human mind. But I think RSA is more than that. I think it is what we have when we are truly at Center.

I’m guessing that RSA that comes from true Center cannot be described or felt on an emotional level at all. As soon as we find ourselves trying to decide whether or not to accept ourselves for something, we have left Center and entered the world of duality. Yes. At this moment we can choose Acceptance, and doing that over and over again is the key to learning to live from Center, but choosing Acceptance is only a stepping-stone to Radical Self-Acceptance. I think RSA might also be described as “Intrinsic Purity,” or “The Joy of Intelligence knowing Itself.” 

Here’s another great definition of RSA. “You’re not good. You’re not bad. You’re God.” (from: What the Bleep Do We Know?)

Albert Einstein said, “A human being is a part of the whole called by us the universe…. [We] experience [our] thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.” *

An “Optical Delusion.” Ha. I love that!

Another way of saying that, as our beloved Daily Recollection tells us, “…there is no self and other as the awareness of pure, undisturbed Consciousness slips into all Consciousness.”

Once we slip into “all Consciousness,” and there is no separation between ourselves and any living or inanimate object, we become incapable of judging ourselves or anyone around us because neither of us exists. Lack of Acceptance can only be experienced when we are identified with a being who is separate.

OK. That’s all well and good but do we always have to be living, breathing embodiments of self-hate when we’re not at Center? Here is what I think might be the final piece of this puzzle, and it’s one of the first things that Cheri says in her Unconditional Self-Acceptance Course offered by Sounds True. (Remarkably, after 10 years of study, I didn’t truly hear this until yesterday.) Our relationship with the world around us is totally dictated by our relationship with ourselves. If we remember that we are connected to everything and everyone…and we become Peace, we project Peace. If we become Compassion, we project Compassion. If we become Acceptance, we project Acceptance.

Everything we do in this practice is designed to teach us how to live from Center. From this place Radical Self-Acceptance is the only thing that’s possible. Radical Self-Acceptance comes only after we realize that THERE IS NO SELF TO ACCEPT. It cannot be an ideal that we analyze our way into. We can train ourselves and put every ounce of energy we have into watching our rambunctious and devilish minds…but RSA can only be accomplished by accepting, embracing, letting go and coming back to the breath. Only after we do that will “the way [be] clear beyond the gate of thought and desire.”

* From Living Compassion’s daily Peace quotes