In a miraculous three-day workshop at the Monastery last spring entitled “Your Deepest Heart’s Desire,” we explored the joy of possibility—of aligning ourselves with the energy of life.

During one of the exercises, we were asked to draw an image of what it feels like when we are identified with conditioning. I drew myself as a semi-comatose patient lying in the intensive care unit of a hospital, hooked up to all sorts of tubes and wires. The pattern of my blanket is woven with the words of self-hatred. A doctor standing next to my bed is holding my chart, shaking his head and sighing. The doctor keeps telling me that I need to stay hooked up to all the tubes and wires because that is what is keeping me alive—that I couldn’t possibly live without his help. Then as you stare at the picture a little longer, you notice that one of the tubes coming out of my body is actually connected to the doctor and my life energy is being sucked right back out again. I am being kept on artificial life support because I am believing that I need my conditioning in order to survive. Conditioning has to make me believe that so that I won’t disconnect all the tubes and wires and go bouncing out of the hospital, leaving it without all my life energy. I don’t need my conditioning—my conditioning needs me.

What does this have to do with sustainability? When I am plugged into life, my experience is one of boundless energy and willingness—unlimited energy resources. When I am plugged into conditioning or artificial life support, there is not enough of anything—except suffering.

How do I sustain this connection with life—with this unlimited energy? I set up my life to mimic the structure that the Monastery provides: work director, guestmaster, cook, mentor/guide, yoga, sitting meditation, working meditation, regular exercise, healthy food and large doses of self-love. I have signs posted all around my house with reassurances and reminders to come back to the present moment. I say thank you all day long.

Because it is life-sustaining and not ego-sustaining.
Because life feels more alive when I do.
Gassho.