My first thought when I received the second request to write something about practice successes was "I haven't had any."  OH MY GOODNESS!  What a doggone lie that was.  It was such an obvious attempt of conditioning to keep me from writing about the thousands of practice successes that I have experienced.  I'm not exaggerating.  My life...each precious moment...is different since I have been practicing. When I am identified with conditioning, I can believe that nothing is good, life is too hard, my kids drive me crazy, I don't get what I need from those I love, my job is boring, I don't have enough money, I spend too much money, and on and on and on....

Then, with a mind shift there is disidentification from the one who feels like a victim and everything is bad to seeing the awesome, terrific things about my life which all happen to be true!  You can look at the world and your life with a lousy attitude or you can look at it with a grateful, compassionate, aware attitude.  Life is easy when I'm not listening to all the bull conditioning is dishing out. My kids are amazing, wonderful people, I am lucky to have people who love me, I'm grateful for having a job which is really a good job, my boss is terrific, I have more than enough money and the most miraculous things of all is that I know about awareness practice, can see through the lies and come back here.  I can give compassion to all the people in here who need it and all the people around me who may need it.  Bottom line: I can give and receive.

I know when I am suffering that there is another alternative.  I become grateful for the suffering to show me what I need to see.  A success for me is to learn what is causing me to suffer, to see it and be free of it.  There is nothing better than seeing it and having a moment of waking up...seeing something I have not seen for my whole life that has kept me boxed in.  Right now I am boxed in.  I know it and I'm writing this to participate and to possibly give me a little light into seeing what I am doing.  I don't see it right now so I'm jumping in to participate.  I have a voice that wants to measure what is a success and how do I get another one out of this experience.  I am not sure what will happen or how to go forward.  I just trust that practice and participation will show me what I need to see.  Time and time again showing up works.  I think it would be a good exercise to remember practice successes each day.  At least it would keep conditioning from convincing me that my life is horrible and I can't fix it.  There is a choice about how to live.  Success is in participating, showing up.  It's the same on retreat.  You follow the schedule, you show up and magic happens.  It's the same "on the outside."  If I show up for myself, give myself the gift of practice then magic happens out here in this conditioned world, too.

In lovingkindness.