He’s moving in with another woman (friend). Conditioning says I must endure to be Zen, I’ve to do something to stop it, and if I were really Zen I shouldn’t have/communicate needs around it. Part of me wants to talk with him and/or her but conditioning muddling it. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know what “really Zen” means, but here’s what occurs to me and I bet it has to you: how about a grown up conversation? You two are in a relationship, right? Relating is what you’re doing, yes? And, yet there’s this huge thing going on with you that you can’t speak about because…? He’ll be upset? You’ll lose him? It’ll destroy the relationship? The Zen thing to do—if there were such a thing—is to drop the ego conversation in conditioned mind. Yes? We’re practicing being present as an expression of Life, not buying into ego’s stories about what it means to be present and how one should then behave. Big difference, huh? If you were “being Zen” you would have come forth with whatever was authentically present in the moment you received this information, not gone off to noodle it. Let me know! Gassho
Looking at beliefs around "attraction" -- seems to be behind many beliefs about weight. What wants to "attract"? What IS attraction anyway? How does ego horn in and corrupt that process? Who decides if I’m attractive (even beyond physically)? What defines “unattractive”? Just some places I’m looking! Gassho R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And perhaps “is that so?” will be your best ally. Bring awareness of every “thought” (all that oozes around in conditioned mind) on the subject and let it be greeted with “is that so?” It’s a process akin to “thanks for sharing.” No need to figure anything out, just a chance to open to a much broader picture of beliefs and assumptions keeping god knows what in place! Gassho
Experiencing deep sadness, grief over the sudden death of my dog. Also noticing how this is not the only life experience occurring, that beauty is all around, and amazing support. Allowing the deep grief, receiving all else that is also here, now. R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We get to see the interconnectedness of all Life in a situation such as this, don’t we? We get to see all these, what ego would call, disparate elements arising together and clearly one. At a time like this egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate would have us focus on death and loss, deadening us to the Life that also includes death and loss. Because of this we can feel more fully alive in these moments than in those moments when only “good stuff” is happening. Makes us especially grateful to those who help us feel so deeply. Gassho
So being unconditional love is not being a doormat, nor acting from sadness/hate/anger, nor ego-involved arguing. The image I have now is that being unconditional love is like treating other’s hate like the weather: don’t try to change or judge it, just respond as intelligently and resourcefully as possible. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And be the difference. What is true for you in the face of hate? You choose Unconditional Love. What does that look like? If someone makes a racist remark or wishes someone ill, how does Unconditional Love respond? We must be in Unconditional Love to find out. That’s the true blessing for us! Gassho
Seems like as I connect again to life, Egocentrickarmicconditioningselfhate brings out the big guns. It tells me this is a problem--there's no point in trying because it will just get louder, meaner. Seeing its tactics strengthens my resolve, and I find life right here right now. R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yep. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate blusters and threatens but that’s all it’s got. It can’t do anything to you. It can’t even make you listen to it—how cool is that? The retort from about first grade—thumbs in the ears, fingers waving as you sing nanner nanner nanner—might just be the very best response. Gassho
I hear you. When I let go, space opens around me. In that spaciousness, there is peace. Thank you so much, Cheri.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You are so very, very welcome. Gassho
Yes, thank you. Thinking is ego justifying itself, taking things personally, reacting to whatever story it's telling. It's the whole production team, writer, director, actor, critic, audience. Peace is waking from the dream and realizing it was not me. There is no me. Gassho R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Beautifully stated. It takes that whole production team to create the illusion of a self to suffer. Waking up is surely bliss, is it not? Gassho
When one trick of ekc/sh is seen, another sneakily moves in. Mara lurks with so many tactics. I remain vigilant, waking up in every moment of delusion/distraction. Something takes me off course again, gets me hooked, and then again I see it. Back to center. R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Exactly! And it’s fun, isn’t it? We’re cleaning up karma, doing our part, and waking up to how things work in the process. When we’re not believing a yammering voice haranguing on about what’s wrong, there’s just us enjoying being here moment by moment. Gassho
This inquiry is thrilling! To hear that it was possible to be present and not go into the adrenalin producing response just stopped ego cold!. ”But, but I can’t” wailed the voice. Life dropped in repeat “I choose peace and calm” over and over as a place to start R/L .
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“I” can’t and “you,” as Life’s expression, certainly can! What a deal, huh? “I choose peace and calm.” What a delicious, delightful and, yes, thrilling way to live. Gassho
The biggest bamboozle: believing it reflects on “me,” that “I’m” colluding with conditioning, for seeing the choice available between conditioning and authenticity and not finding the willingness to choose authenticity. Seeing for the first time the belief that I can and must overcome conditioning in every moment wow! R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So relaxing! All that doing we’ve been supposed to be doing—so exhausting. Instead we can just stay in awareness and, as Bankei points out, allow the Unborn Buddha Mind to manage everything perfectly. We’re here, we’re paying attention, there’s that little fork…. Gassho
The human, lost at first, has enjoyed several days of not second guessing not wondering which voice comes from where, not having the conversation. The human had festive meals with family. IGNORE - ance turned Joy! R/L
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ignorance may not be anything we want to pursue but ignore-ing certainly is, isn’t it? What voice is which and where and why and who cares. Attention on awareness in the present and all is well. Will it stay that way? Likely not, but that’s what makes awareness practice so fun. There’s always an exciting “spiritual opportunity” for us to see and see through. Gassho
Ha, getting stuck as an opportunity. That really helps shift things. From there, staying here and engaged, the focus is no longer on doing the right thing. When Life drops something in, the what and the how are revealed with clarity and willingness. R/L Gassho
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The difference comes down to is Life for you or against you, right? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, being “no” to Life’s “yes,” tries to make everything about wrong and mistake. Life, being that “yes,” is about learn and grow. Ego contracts, Life expands. Ego is a focus on less and smaller, while Life is more and bigger. We know which team we want to be on, eh? Gassho