Urge doesn’t need meaning, be taken seriously, acted upon or resisted. It’s a hook to lure Being into feeding its reification. Hmmm! wondering what other unconscious habitual response patterns are in place that maintain ego- by giving me message “nothing to see here or too scary don’t look.” Gassho R/L
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Ah, you have officially been bitten by the Curiosity bug! This is quite wonderful, isn’t it? Hmm… wonder where else ego is hiding out, lurking, waiting to lure. I can see those hands rubbing together in gleeful anticipation! Gassho
Becoming present/calm on mammogram day was en-couraging. Now, when thinking of past traumas, I look inside and can’t find a “damaged” self, only *thoughts* about damage: big aha. Still, my body’s often tense/braced, despite coming back to this-breath-now. How to re-cultivate ease in this body and with Life? Gassho.
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You’re doing it! You’re doing exactly what’s required. You’re being present, paying attention, seeing how a false sense of you and your life has been created and you’re dismantling it. Yes, it will likely take a while for the residual tension to leave the body, AND if we use each moment of awareness of the tension to bring us back to a letting go and a grateful presence, we really don’t even mind the reminder! Gassho
Fun activities for dropping the tug-of-war rope, indeed! Wow! Doing those kinds of activities that ego would consider “silly,” and would NEVER do right in the middle of a “serious” tug-of-war between right and wrong, really shakes up the system! Love it!! R/L
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And you’re having more fun already! Only “someone” (ego) resisting presence would label present fun “silly.” You can see why in Zen the highest form of expression is the fool, huh? There’s round old Ho Tai with his bag of treasures, ambling down the road, stopping to play with all the children he meets. Some versions of his story say he’s carrying candy. The version I’ve heard is that his bag is filled with all the things the world has no use for—integrity, kindness, joy, generosity…. He’s a living message! Gassho
My project is not only stressful to me (much less so with practice), but to those around me. fighting to not take it personally when staff and husband/boss complain about project. This is a recurring process for me-Getting feelings hurt. Project is Interesting microcosm of my whole life. R/L
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What you’re saying is that this is a perfect practice workshop, yes? You can see that the issue you’re struggling with is karmic. You fall for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s game of “my feelings are hurt,” and everyone gets pulled into ego’s suffering drama. This is very helpful because you now know where to focus attention. Perhaps a process map would assist? Start putting post-its on your map at whatever point you recognize the process. For instance, “aware voices are talking about what ‘they’ are thinking. Feel my stomach clench. Voices say I need to try harder. I don’t want to try harder! It’s not my fault. If they would leave me alone…” Just capture whatever you see and keep adding to the map until you see the whole process from start to finish. Yes, there is a start-to-finish because at some point you want to quit and rather than quitting you get talked into some version of “be a better person and get it right.” Let me know what your version of this is! Gassho
Looking for “way to break the addiction that does not loop back into it” then is revealed as ego stall tactic. Way is clear beyond gate of thought/desire. No thinking about breaking addiction; just the PRACTICE of bringing attention HERE to discover it is everything we truly want. R/L
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That’s a big one, isn’t it? “You need to stop smoking those cigarettes.” “Yeah, I do. Let me have one more cigarette while I think about how to do that.” NOPE. This leaves us in that process of “catching it sooner and sooner.” Because we will get hooked in and come to out in the middle somewhere. That’s okay. We just wake up, see where we are, and drop it. We don’t have to figure out “how I got here.” We know the answer to that. I got distracted and snatched! Gassho
Email writing went deep. Surprised. Momentarily felt deeply understood. Touched. Re: Beliefs-R/L to remember what's helpful. Forget all else. Happens anyway. Forgetting is like falling. Sometimes just fall. Surprise! Falling back into the present; the beloved. Today, when "falling," "being with," experiencing all creatures as divine expressions. Gassho.
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Yes, we’re finding that magic marriage of letting go and falling with focused willingness. How can we make an effort without making an effort? So Zen, huh? What is effortless effort? We let go, fall into NOW, and are with the divine expression of all being. Gassho
Yes, I am getting a sense experientially of this core principal. Now I can ask who is it that wants to zone out, watch Netflix or eat chocolate? Just asking the question can help to dis-identify and bring the process into compassionate awareness. R/L
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It can be a fun moment for the “And then what?” game. I zone out, watch Netflix and eat chocolate, and then what? Conditioning always leaves us with the “Oh, won’t that be heavenly” rather than the “And I’m going to beat the stuff out of you afterward” part of the program. So when the campaign starts you can just ask the voice in the head, “And then what?” Gassho
Thankful for Life's insight to remind me to submit something here. What is underneath the story that is being told right now? Grateful that this question just dropped in. Identified with here and now. Great, gassho! And stop, drop and breathe, again every second. R/L
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By George, I think you’ve got it! Insight drops in to submit your insight to class, insight guides you to look at what story you’re being told. You realize you’re present. You realize you feel great; there are no suffering stories anywhere. You’re aware that practicing presence in each and every second is what keeps you so joyfully in Life’s flow. YES! Gassho
Partner and I had coffee with a friend today. As the two were talking I was noticing the voices yammering as to what I should say. This interfered with listening, so I didn't talk, just listened. Much more relaxing. Got quiet inside and enjoyed their exchanges. What fun! R/L
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Presence IS relaxing and fun, isn’t it? And soon, a prediction here, something will drop in that you want to add to the conversation, the timing will be perfect, the contribution appropriate, and that whole process will also be relaxing and fun. I bet! Gassho
Not so fun when fear, worry, thinking, conversation engaged. Notice turning attention to the thoughts gets it going. Feeling inadequate, anxious, run away, hide, become invisible. Habit to feel this way. Suffer. See it and still afraid. no way to stop the feelings. Kindness, relax, come back to now.
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There IS a way to “stop the feelings,” isn’t there? Just as you say, attention habitually goes to conditioned mind where the conversation of something wrong is ubiquitous. Focused on that conversation you feel fearful, and the conditioned “what to do” reactions prevail. You realize all this and the fear is still there. HOW TO STOP THE FEAR? Yep, turn attention away from the fear-generating conversation and turn attention to the kindness, the relaxation of thisherenow. Done! Now all that’s required is repeating that process. In other words—practice! Gassho
It's true! In spite of what the voices say, taking good care of the body is not difficult, and with the slightest amount of care and attention the body really thrives. The only thing that is overwhelming and “too much work” is the conversation in the head. R/L Gassho
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And thank goodness we can drop that overwhelming, too much work conversation in conditioned mind like the proverbial hot spud—with no fear. There it is, yammering on, dragging us down, and then poof! turn attention to thisherenow and here’s all the energy needed for kind caring of the human being. So good! Gassho
It’s such a kindness to be out of that loop, so much space to be present to whatever’s next on the schedule. Instead of ignoring reminders that pop up, there’s action and gratitude that I’m present with a sense of accomplishment of a job well done. R/L
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EXACTLY! We add a little “Well done, thank you” recording (being sure to do a thorough recap of precisely what we did so well!), and there’s nothing we can’t enjoy doing. Are there things we truly would not enjoy doing? No doubt, but we are rarely if ever asked to do them, right? What we’re asked to do, that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate resists so vociferously, are activities that are for us. I have work and chores to do, and you’d think by the moans and groans of the voices of ego that I’m an indentured servant being worked to death and beaten at the end. AND it can certainly feel that way if we let ego drag us around in a state of misery, hating everything about everything. A little pat on the back and a “thank you, well done” will go a long way toward making every moment of whatever we’re doing joyful. Why is that so? Because ego cannot abide in the present, and we have to be present to be happy and grateful! Gassho