Submission 4 Responses

Resonating with there isn't "anybody else" - only had one day to sit with this, but feel a shift and will practice with it. R/L

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It’s a wonderful insight and allows one to take full responsibility for one’s life, doesn’t it? Everything about me is me. As soon as we step free of the “blame game” ego wants to keep us in (it’s their fault/no, it’s your fault), we get to have, enjoy, and benefit from using everything in our life to end suffering. (This is why projection is such a big deal in awareness practice!) Gassho

Trying to relax. Seeing connection in egokarmicconditioning/selfhate circle: discrimination/boss harassment puts me under the gun and I work harder, isolation from others, and feeling of not belonging. After so many years of struggle it's difficult to relax, peace elusive. Changing the isolation and relaxation puzzle pieces seems key. R/L

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And the key to that is getting out of the conversation in conditioned mind. Truly! You know the saying “The enemy has an outpost in my mind”? It would not be too extreme to say, “The enemy IS my mind.” If there is one “source” of information we surely cannot trust it’s what goes on inside our head. Truly. It’s Einstein’s “You can’t solve a problem from the same mind/consciousness/thinking (lots of interpretations!) that created it.” We dare not get assistance in solving our problems from the system that is framing them. Gassho

My friend elicits ideas/activities/objects from me and promotes them as her own. My personal experience is the same as if she were to take a painting I spent time and energy producing, walk around the room showing it to others claiming it as her own creation. EgoCentric Karmic Condition objects! R/L

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Yes. Ego objects. And only ego objects. But then ego objects to darned near everything, including ego! When we realize ALL insights and ideas, even the “objects” that flow from them, are of LIFE, we lose interest in how they’re “used” by “others.” There aren’t any “others,” and if those “others” want to share in and enjoy what we’ve been blessed with, how lovely. Nothing real can ever be lost. Perhaps your friend is assisting you to let go of notions of ownership? (I bet ego REALLY hates that!) Gassho

Incidents of upset and need to assert authority triggered return to here and questioning. Obsessive, painful thoughts really did dissipate. Yesterday got lost in procrastination. Questioning happened, but in dull, noodling way with no motivation to change. See opportunity to question how use feelings to navigate intentions. Awfully unreliable. R/L

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Agree. Truly the most helpful practice is to set an alarm (okay, lots of them) so you come to, check in with how you’re doing, drop all conversation, look at the sky or a tree, say “thank you, I love you” (preferably aloud until you’re HERE), and get on with your life. No planning, no reviews. Right here, right now with THIS. This breath, this beat of the heart. All you need will arise for your enlightening pleasure. Gassho

Another layer of karma/revealed itself. not seen it. Karmicly/programed/belief feeling not worthy of success, feeling inferior, if I stay small/do "!they won't "reject/me" grateful to see R/l

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Yes, indeed! It is a grand and glorious thing to see and see through the egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate horse pucky that will rob us of our life if we let it. “They,” as in other people, won’t reject you, but “they,” as in negative voices in the head, will reject you constantly. External people are actually far safer to be around than the hateful voices inside the head! Great catch. Gassho

So helpful! Thank you! Seeing that all things outside of thisherenow lead to "not good enough." Blowing the scheme wide open! Watching for those mind objects. Deep Gassho. R/L

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Good for you! All roads in conditioned mind lead to self-hate. Period. That’s why we really don’t want to go there. Where can we be safe? In thisherenow. Isn’t that wonderful? We’re always safest right where we are—our part of the bargain is to be here! Gassho

Surprising moment on Friday evening when son-in-law waved in greeting as I was approaching back door of the car to get my walker and offered to help contrasted with tongue lashing I got in preparation for litter-control with a professional cleaning person yesterday.

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We all have those “good’ and “bad” moments, don’t we? Can we see the good ones—in ourselves and others—and just ignore the bad ones? Can we offer to others what we wish for ourselves, unconditional love and acceptance even when we have not been our best? I project you and your son-in-law are going to break new kindness ground together! Gassho

Noticing when I turn my attention to conditioning's conversation. Someone may look or say something--somehow is interpreted as "disapproval"-- and that had been the cue for conditioning to take over. Now, it is my cue to see that process and drop it. I'm not at the mercy of ego. R/L

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That’s one of those “forks” or “junctures” we been looking for, isn’t it? When we see it we hop on down the path of gratefully present in thisherenow. When we miss the turn we get tossed over the cliff into egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s quicksand pit. Makes a person happy to know that divide exists and eager to watch for it, eh? No more being at the mercy of ego! Gassho

Seeing now how ego takes her experience personally; if it's "wrong", I'm the "wrong person". Thought I cannot 'not take it personally' when I'm criticized. Actually, I can look to love and compassion. With that focus, it doesn't matter say the right thing, be the right person. Very freeing. RL

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Very good! You’re seeing that ego’s focus on “her” making you the right or wrong person only serves ego. Without taking “her” personally you can choose love and compassion—for both of you! Way better, huh? Gassho

I've had an experience of intense "negative" sensation transforming into hilarity. Lots of things happening, so I haven't focused much on sex. It seems like the next step is to come back to that focus and work with the sensations. Gently caring for the human and R/Ling

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Well, you could do that or you could just continue with the “so much going on I haven’t focused much on sex.” In other words, if getting busy or distracted removes the issue, perhaps it’s not such a big issue. Perhaps if it were relegated to being one of “all the stuff going on,” those sensations associated with the issue would be seen as more “created” than “inherent.” Perhaps those sensations can also be experienced as hilarious? Gassho

Ego reacted to your comment about not visiting the Monastery. It wants recognition as a good zen student; I have attended retreats elsewhere, it yells! I will go to OA but please say more about a Monastery visit. I finally have the energy and desire to confront this issue.

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Well, actually, ego just wants to be offended and yell, true? That said, I had no intention of casting aspersions on your sincerity. I simply meant that you had not chosen to put yourself in “rehab.” When we’ve been dealing with the same issue for years, enduring great suffering, and unable to overcome the issue on our own, it’s time to take extreme measures. It’s the old, “doing the same thing over and over hoping for another result is (ego) insanity” story. What you can see clearly is that ego is more interested in maintaining itself than in your suffering ending. YOU have to choose you. Gassho

Tried exercise. Calling it different names changed relationship to it. Created space of not knowing what it was. When stopped shifted back to must drink energy. Still strong so at times I gave in, but saw how I didn’t have to believe it and could change relationship to it. R/L

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Good. Now you know what you’re going for. It’s not a contest. “Perfect” is not a requirement. What you’re practicing is what you’ve seen: There’s a habit, a set of sensations fueled by incessant conversations that have labels and behaviors attached to them. That’s how it works for all humans. What you get to do is observe that pattern and practice breaking it. You’re not trying to quit drinking alcohol—you’re breaking that karmic pattern. Gassho

Indeed! stories fade into nothingness¦ including any about conditioning that’s powerful/subtle/compelling/complex/difficult/to be feared, just more stories clouding the experience of thisherenow. Easy to disidentify with a new insight, then gradually more challenging, a reminder/sign one’s relationship with the Devine needs maintenance/adjusting, not that Practice isn’t working! R/L

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Oh, what an excellent point! All those stories don’t even need to be labeled. They don’t need to be attended to at all. They’re simply an indication that more attention needs to be given to the Divine. Talk about a re-direct of attention, huh? Gassho

Expansion, love and gratitude in place of contraction and hatred. Each airplane is a reminder to wake up and be in thisherenow. I will often bow in gratitude to the noise, acknowledging that, with awareness practice, what once caused suffering is the most perfect opportunity to end it. Gassho

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Thank you for that! What a beautiful reminder for us all that “what causes suffering is our most perfect opportunity to end it.” HOORAY! Gassho

I am removing attention from old conditioned beliefs that I’m separate and existentially alone, and giving it instead to my connectedness with all creation. Repeating mantra ""I am one with life and all creation."" When I focus on that, I FEEL connected. This is how I want to feel. R/L

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And it is that simple and straightforward! Our life is determined by what we give attention to. Give attention to ego’s stories of separate and alone, and separate and alone is what we get. Give attention to “I am one with life and all creation,” and one with all life is what we feel and what we get. Congratulations! Gassho

Voices surprisingly quiet about this past week's willingness to "lights out" at 10 PM. SEE that I "keep doing" until 10. One night: face not washed, teeth not brushed!!! SEE that I can lay down, without reading/TV, get in touch with my breathing and quickly fall asleep! WOW!

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The quote “Do the thing and you shall have the power” springs to awareness, does it not? You made the commitment, you’re doing what you committed to, and the power is yours. The rest of the details will fall into place (face washing and teeth brushing) because you have the power to choose for you. Is that the best!? Gassho

Client understanding - would probably support additional funding, providing more time for their projects. Yes, money, fear of losing clients, has been favourite game of EKC. Have often believed EKC that I’m not smart enough for this work. Realizing I don’t need to defend my intelligence, esp. not to EKC.

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… especially not to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Especially. We don’t need to defend ourselves—period. And in addition to that period we REALLY don’t need to get into a conversation about our adequacy with an imaginary voice in the head! Great catch. Whatever it has to say, you don’t need to hear! Gassho

Excitement. Coin tossing turns new leaves. Now have energy to "dare" to tackle all kinds of surfaces and spaces. Big discovery is that it's so much fun. All done with kindness. No ego standards. Dropping old stories. Fresh perspective. More possibilities. Moving forward by letting go. R/L Gassho

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I wish everyone in the world would get what you got with this exercise! Whatever the crapola “you’re going to make a mistake/there’s something wrong” conversation ego gets going in conditioned mind does not matter. The whole thing is immaterial. It’s bogus, hogwash, horse pucky. Given that, we can safely just toss a coin to make all our decisions. Isn’t that the BEST!? No more noodling required! Gassho

Self-conditioning attaches the anxiety to things, situations and people. Shows up in so many ways that's it's hard to recognize it, then hard to tell it to take a hike!

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Can’t you just tell all conditioning and its “tool” anxiety to take a hike? A general order: All you anxiety-producing conversations, take a hike! That’s actually as simple as turning attention to thisherenow, and the quickest, most efficient way to do that, as you no doubt know, is to plug in a recording of what is always “so.” Yes? Gassho

Yes. Seeing more clearly how the someday I’ll be all right story plays out, especially with Enneatype 4 varieties. This is it. My real life is now. And I’m okay. What’s arising is to practice being who/how I want to be with whatever/whoever is in front of me. R/L Gassho

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YES!!! That’s it. You got it. Forget everything else. Cut it loose. Let it go. There’s only thisherenow and in thisherenow you are just fine! Throw yourself a grand party, please! Gassho

R/l success! Conversation w pain reveals pain is here to slow me down and teach me to love the human. So many stories connected to pain! Dropping them! How can I overcome egocentrickarmicconditioningselfhate's power over R/L? I commit, forget, ignore timers, get discouraged and recently gave up. Starting again...gassho

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THAT is the process of practicing awareness! Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is in an all-out battle for its illusory “existence.” It’s not going to give up until you make it. That’s part of the make-the-human-strong-enough-to-choose-freedom program! It’s how we get to that “having suffered enough” place. Not to worry. You’re doing fine. You’ve seen it’s possible not to suffer; you’re not going back. Gassho

Experiencing moments/seconds of being awake, here, catching sudden drifting away...., seems miraculous; then, so blindingly fast, fear that I'm making it up/I can't/won't keep at it & will have one more failure; ugh... practice is to "just" continue seeing these as stories & separate from me-being..

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Yes, and read what I just wrote to your neighbor. Those horror stories are aimed at getting you to quit. You’ve experienced a different possibility and that possibility is far more compelling than anything those voices have going for them. Make some commitments to stick with practice and all will be fine. Get that R/L practice going; it’s our secret weapon. Gassho

Yes! Bringing love to whatever is called for in the moment makes everything service. When egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate tries to distract with questions about what it means or where it's leading, just change the channel back to whatever is called for in the moment. Gassho. R/L

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So straightforward, isn’t it? As you lay it out we can see how simple it is. Just change the channel. And, it takes everything we’ve got to do it, doesn’t it? This is good. This process is going to demand the best we have and in that way we get to find out what that is! We are loved. Gassho

I lost focus and my mind has been busy fretting, being anxious, reliving accident scene (helped injured biker while waiting for EMTs). Along with hard physical work. So now I feel lost, dazed, exhausted. Seems I need a reboot: gentle movement, uplifting recordings and compassion for this human.

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How TRULY EXTRAORDINARY is it that you know that??? You know EXACTLY what you need to do to take care of yourself, to get back on track. Does it matter that you got lost for a bit? Heck no! You’re getting to see that regardless of how far off the track ego tosses you, you know what to do to get back to yourself. Congratulations! Time to celebrate a big success. Gassho

Like you say, unfortunately rational and language can only speak to a certain part of the brain and self. I cant control every part of myself. It seems we rely too heavily on rational and it seems I have forgotten any other means of feeling secure. Maybe La, La, La

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In my experience we can’t control anything. We can fortunately be aligned with what’s happening currently and that can look like control, but control it is not. More like good fortune or a happy coincidence. Sadly for most folks that “control is an illusion” lesson is learned in a harsh manner. We’re going along thinking we’ve got everything covered and something happens we really don’t want. Of course the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate jump in to say it’s our fault, but if we’re paying attention we know that’s not so. We do the best we can and what happens just happens. Not sure what the “Maybe La, La, La” means but if it has something to do with remembering “other means of feeling secure” it would be worth pursuing. Gassho

Thank you for that guidance, that the "being in control of the situation" that I believes assessing accomplishes is really ego being in control of me - by having the attention. In a situation yesterday that process went on, but awareness was aware that's what it was. Very different! R/L

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That’s what’s meant in Zen by “everything is the same only completely different.” We don’t need to change things; we just need to be aware, yes? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has us focused on change and improvement precisely because it doesn’t work. Well, it does work, just not for us! We bring awareness to any situation and our experience goes from conditioned to happily, gratefully present to Life unfolding. Gassho

Great opportunity to notice impatience (which seems to spawn irritability) arise while listening to a friend talk on and on. Noticed it before it landed, which woke me up to move attention to kindness. Saw that impatience arises when conditioning thinks there are other things I need to do. R/L

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Great connection there! There are other things I need to be doing besides being present and kind. Yes, egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate would angle for that, wouldn’t it? What’s that other most important thing I should be doing? Why paying attention to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate of course! Gassho

Seeing story of you are not enough is present with all kinds of content. It is accompanied by sensation in stomach, tight, buzzy. Recognizing sensation as just that, making gratitude recordings, directing attention to feet, to really listening, Seeing so many possibilities for directing attention away from ego’s only offering. R/L

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Another great catch! There are tight, buzzy sensations in the stomach and ego is quick to jump in with an “explanation.” “Oh, that means you’re not enough.” Really? How in the world did we get there? My stomach is tight and buzzy and that means I’m not enough…. Huh. Well, what if it means I’m excited? What if it means I’m really alive? What if it means Life is animating me? What if it means I have tons of energy for any and everything I want to do? What if it means…. So many possibilities! Gassho

Practicing looking to Life to see what to do next. Even took a nap! New layer: would then slip into doing said thing with egocentrickarmicconditioning/self-hate. Glad to see that! And glad to feel joy upon seeing: joy comes from doing Practice with Life! No beatings or onerous sacrifice here! R/L

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Nope, none of those. We are living and learning. We are choosing Life and being guided. We cannot go wrong! Gassho

Practicing putting attention on awareness. Koan: what is keeping me from being able to focus? Amazed by number of different things "monkey mind" flits to. Lot of sexual fantasy last 24 hrs - common experience. Often caught in pleasure's seductive pull. Determined to keep practicing. R/L

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I project you’re seeing that “pleasure’s seductive pull” might just not be so pleasurable for you, true? Ego wants you to go into a sexual fantasy and then beat you up for not being able to focus. Technically you were focused—on a sexual fantasy! But that doesn’t count with ego, does it? Reminds me of the Ram Dass story of the woman who was dying and very depressed. He offered that perhaps she was depressed because she was spending all her time dying. She could instead die for ten minutes each hour and live for 50. You might try that with sexual fantasy. You look at your watch. “Nope, this is not the sexual fantasy time; right now I’m focusing on my project. Sexual fantasy happens at ten minutes to the hour.” Behold ego going bat poop crazy! Gassho

Waking up today from a few days of camping with conditioning -- noodling, weighing pros/cons of a new business opportunity, fueled with an urgency to decide, even tho I have until October. Now knowing, not what but how, and another ridiculous aspect of urgency I can drop. R/L

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Had you realized you were lost in ego’s hysteria you could have asked someone to slap you, right? But we don’t know until after. The good news is that you were gone for a few days, not a few years. Don’t know about you but I can remember unconsciousness measured in years. The times are much shorter; that’s much to be grateful for. How are you going to bring more conscious awareness to the process of urgency? Gassho

Notice that worrying about others is really deep yearning to alleviate suffering. I feel helpless/inadequate, especially with those closest; still want to do something, but what? Advice often backfires. Listen to archives and R/L. This morning woke from special dream, perceived mentor to be saying allow life to flow. Enough?

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I think the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, our loved ones, and the world at large is to “know” experientially that there is nothing wrong. When we know that we don’t worry. We know there’s nothing that can happen to anyone. Everyone is equal to their life. It’s all okay. From this place of clarity we can respect everyone’s life. We can offer one another what is truly helpful—Unconditional Love. Gassho

Gratitude for clarification. Noticing subtle bodily sensations during shift from peaceful presence (thisherenow) to attention on the pull of conditioned mind (head/noodling). Practicing relaxing and letting go rather than fighting when caught in egocentrickarmicconditioning and familiar suffering victim. Noticing and appreciating life saving benefits of practice and guidance. R/L Gassho

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Good! No one who has been successful in ending suffering has done it on their own. That’s why the Buddha included Sangha in the Three Jewels. We need each other. Relaxing and letting go is surely the way to get out of the clutches of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. When we fight it we give it attention and that’s what it’s going for. We just relax and turn attention to thisherenow. Breathe. Listen to some recordings of what we know to be true. Gassho

Noticing a belief that “being present 100% of the time” is not possible and how limiting this has been. Practicing compassion and joy for the movement of waking up 100% of the time that happens instead. A dramatic shift and very grateful for the opportunity. Gassho

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That would be a heartfelt, “Well done,” wouldn’t it? Attending to ego contests=failure and misery. Turning attention to compassion and joy=present moment, well, compassion and joy! It is a DRAMATIC shift, isn’t it? Night and day. Dark room to Light Room. Congratulations. Gassho

Fascinating to watch nervousness, guilt, and shame enter a situation where the feelings have no bearing. As I contain the energy and focus my attention on the situation I am in, possibilities open. Quality of life improves, and “I” don’t freeze into situations which create further nervousness, guilt and shame.

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Absolutely! You’ve seen clearly HOW egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate does what it does to keep itself “alive” and a human being in suffering. Nothing in the present is causing

the sensations that connect with the labels and stories that produce the emotions and make a person think what’s going on in their head is “real.” “This is how I feel” MUST BE related to something, right? Nope. It’s a program. It just runs. Nothing needs to trigger it; it just runs on its own. You’ve seen that clearly and now you have a choice! Congratulations! Gassho

Great idea. A “cleanse chart” of awarenesses. I love it! Started it already and so need the additional support. More challenges now including: “personal identity stolen”. Recorder broken, toilet not working and breathe stopping shooting pains in legs. Thank goodness for ability to see some humour in this! R/L Gassho

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A sense of humor—never leave home without it. Heck, don’t even try to stay home without it! Those toilets, broken recorders, identity thefts—it’s hard to find the humor in that kind of content, but it’s always available in the process. We’re funny even if “it” isn’t. Voltaire was right—God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh. We’re going against the fear so laughter is available to us. Thank goodness! Gassho

Funny to watch how conditioning told me I'd never get eating figured out now it's telling me I've got it. Don't have to listen to recordings when eating anymore just think about eating well. Can't fall for it. Not the same as hearing truth in my own voice. R/L Gassho

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That’s right! “You don’t need to listen to recordings anymore” quickly morphs into “just listen to the sound of my sabotage under the radar.” There is NOTHING like hearing truth in our own voice. Nothing. And, yes, the flip-flop is worthy of politics. “You’ll never” becomes “you must” as soon as we start making our own choices. All the proof we need that we have the power and those voices got nuthin’. Gassho

I've been "I intending" with food choices. So great to see that space where no one was stepping up to EKC. Just a little awareness goes a long way to making another choice. Lots of "I forgets" but I am so grateful. "Patience and humility" here I come. Gassho R/L

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Patience and humility—such a great place to be. If those “I forgets” are reminders for us to remember then they serve us well. Each one is an opportunity to choose lovingkindness over self-hate. Also a good thing! We keep directing attention where we want it to be and sonovagun before we know it, it’s where we want it! Proof of miracles. Gassho

As I listened to my recordings yesterday, I was a little taken back. Suddenly, some of the recordings didn't feel kind. They felt too directive. "Do this," "don't do this". I wonder why I didn't notice before. I suspect some of my recordings were done by conditioning? Rookie R/L.

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I suspect so. We must remember that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate will use ANY AND EVERYTHING to get the upper hand and toss us into suffering. So, yeah, it’s going to take up R/L when we do. It’s going to learn practice-speak, mimic the Mentor, become an expert in R/L, point out what you’re doing wrong—all the standard stuff. No worries. You heard it. You got it. You recognized what’s kind and what isn’t. That’s a huge win for you. You know if it’s not kind, it’s not authentic so you no longer have to listen to unkindness and you now know for sure what unkindness sounds like! Very big. For this reason you want all communication to happen via R/L and none of it inside the head. Much harder to recognize unkind inside the head; too much history of unkindness happening there. Gassho

Thank you. Love the idea of remembering that voices and tornadoes pass! Also really enjoying the Zen expression you wrote to another student of waking up with “whatever” and going to bed “oh well”. As one who can be a bit too serious, this truly resonates! Gassho

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Excellent. What I bet you’re going to see more and more as you continue to practice is that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is very serious and Life is fun loving. With practice we realize Life is always on our side, always rooting for us, ready to offer yet another chance for overs-ies. Only that killjoy voice in the head wants us to worry and ponder and fret and noodle. So tedious! Oh well! Gassho

Keeping an eye on the exact juncture that allows us to have the energy of Life for us and cut off ego’s access.” Yes! I’ve added that to my recordings. “I’m keeping!!ego’s access”. ego says “I have no idea what is being described.” Noticing that is perhaps a juncture? Gassho/RL

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Yes. You saw it. You recognized the “validity” in that statement. You saw what it was referring to and a couple of beats later conditioned mind comes in with “I have no idea….” That’s one of those junctures. You see it and one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi later here comes the voices of ego to draw attention away from the clarity of the insight and turn it to a state of confusion in conditioned mind. That’s it! Gassho

This class has forced/helped me see conditionings response to religion. One faction accommodates completely/blindly in order to be lovable.. Another projects an impossible and ugly path. Then a third rebels absolutely. Blaming the projection on the teacher and practice. I run in circles (no more). THIS IS HUGE! R/L Gassho

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It is indeed huge. First, you are lovable. That’s established by your existence. As an expression of Life you are inherently lovable. We don’t need to buy into ego’s phony “standards.” So, yes, ego says, “you have to do blah, blah, blah to be accepted.” This is followed by ego’s “you have to do that and it’s ugly and impossible.” Then here comes ego with, “Those people are horrible and cruel.” Note that we were never out of ego’s sphere for a moment there. YOU, my dear, have seen through a lifetime of ego torture and now you have a whole new possibility. This is another CONGRATULATIONS moment! Gassho

Conditioning tries to take away the significance of what I do by telling me I’m old, it’s all going to pass away when I’m dead. But that’s always been true, I could have died 50 years ago. Today is just as significant as every other day.

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Remember egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate HAS TO get your attention to continue to seem to be real. So of course it’s going to come at you with anything you might give some attention to. “It doesn’t matter. You’re old. It’ll all come to nothing when you’re dead.” That is a real “so what?” when we catch on to it, right? Of course all this is going to stop for us when we die—we’re not dead now! That would make NOW the time REALLY TO LIVE. If we’re going to be dead, let’s live it up now, huh? Let’s have the time of our lives. Gassho

Conversation with others is not a problem without egocentrickarmiconditioning/selfhate. I see its critique after an interaction often. Now, am seeing it during, filtering what I say. Being present slips into karmic patterns of appearing as the right person. Noticing without judgment allows me to return to presence. Gassho R/L

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Very good because what we well know is that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate doesn’t want you to appear as the right person. Right? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate wants you to trip up, lose your train of thought, say the wrong thing, look stupid and it’s doing everything it can to make that happen. Yes? Uh huh. So the best thing we can do is practice giving it no attention, keeping attention squarely on what Life is giving us to say in this moment, and above all, NO REVIEWS. Agree? Never ever, ever allow a single word of comment about what you and Life are up to! Gassho

Well, after couple great days I did get slammed to the mat with different issue. Ouch. Stewed in it for a while till I opted for 2-handed session with the mentor. Got me out of that echo chamber and into the clarity/compassion I was missing. Still feeling a little raw.

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No! Please don’t do that. Do not look to conditioned mind to tell you how you feel. You got slammed to the mat with a different issue. It dropped in to do a two-handed recording and seek the counsel of the Mentor. You did that! Through that process you moved from suffering to clarity and compassion. That is a tale of success worthy of GREAT CELEBRATION. Please give yourself a GREAT CELEBRATION and drop that “feeling a little raw” story. Gassho

doing something good to avoid guilt, I see the faulty thinking there. what if you do something wrong (e.g. an affair). isn't guilt appropriate? raised by out of control alcoholic mother.. I always had to keep it together and do the right thing...the affair was wrong. feel guilty.

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Since you’re asking…no. Guilt is NEVER appropriate. We’re heavily conditioned to believe that punishment is what makes us good but that’s just not true. Punishment keeps egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate in business and that is certainly not good. Did you learn something valuable by having that affair? Did you realize something(s) as a result of that action? Are you different? Do you see now, having done what you did, what you did not see before? You know the expression education is expensive? This is a perfect example. You learned. Afterward, as the voices are brutalizing us with “you should have known better” we agree that the decent thing to do is feel horrible and take the beatings. No. You learned. If you could have learned this another way, you would have. Drop it. Let it go. Say thank you for the lesson and get on with choosing presence and kindness (the best place to be to avoid getting talked into things we’ll regret; and make no mistake the same voices beating you talked you into the affair!). Learning hard lessons is how we learn to have compassion for other “suffering sinners.” Gassho

Yes, noticing conditioning beckoning me from joy to mesmerized, unconscious absorption... then, when timer goes off I notice it, feel joy, & instantly I'm snatched by conditioning's "can't now, busy with...". So, now practice IS to remember to continue to practice! Loving Life's daily practice opportunities through Project Joy! Gassho/R/L

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It’s humbling and inspiring to really get how unconscious we are, isn’t it? “Gosh, it seems like I’m here.” But we’re not. We’re caught up in ego’s urgent busyness and while we believe, because we’re being told, that we’re living life, we’re actually not. We’re living ego’s agenda and regularly made to feel bad in the process! Gotta end that! Gassho

Lots of temptation to drown my sorrows in a glass of wine. Probably would have done so if I hadn't been in the class. The voices were loud and strong and I just stayed quiet and did my best to do nothing. How to keep this up beyond class?

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Recording and Listening to the rescue! Make a recording (several actually) that remind you why you don’t want to have a glass of wine when ego tells you you need to “drown your sorrows.” This is not the same as never ever having a glass of wine, right? You don’t want to get talked into that “duality/contest.” You want to choose, with Life’s guidance, when you’d like to enjoy a glass of wine, that’s all. This is not about wine; this is about not having the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate jerk you around. You can see the difference, yes? So, you make those recordings and when the voices start in on you you pop in the ear buds, go for a little walk and remind yourself that you get to be the one calling the shots in your life. Talk to the Mentor, see how to take care of yourself when ego has put you through a day of “sorrows.” Gassho

Got bamboozled today. Did not keep a commitment. R/L. Mentor pointed out all the successes. Many many more. Celebrate. Also how did the bamboozle happen? R/L. Story of too much to do. Stress. Hurry. Weekend schedule. Less practice and consistency. Less aware. Good to see... Try again. Gassho

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Exactly! We get to begin again in each moment. Not every day—in each moment. The point you make is an important one: During the week I’m too busy; on the weekend I want to relax. Both can result in “go to sleep, don’t pay attention, don’t keep commitments, get a beating” if we’re not watchful. You caught it. There! That’s what we’re here for. Now to CELEBRATE! Gassho

Initially experienced the expansiveness of opening to other possibilities followed by backlash of " maybe I should give up zen practice". Wow!!... clearly hit a nerve for conditioning. Other responses helpful. Choice rather than decision feels less threatening. Just doing the next indicated thing for now. R/L Gassho.

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Great point! When we hear, “Maybe you should just quit…” we can know we’re on the right track. Now it’s Zen practice because you’re in this class. At another time it will be whatever else you’re choosing that is interfering with ego’s ability to be in control. That would be a marvelous “marker,” in fact. “If I’m not hearing ‘you should quit’ I’m not practicing hard enough.” How’s that for a motto? I can hear ego screaming from here! Gassho

R/L Seeing some movement by approaching the clutter/deprivation with compassion vs self hate. Facing the fear of emptiness and replacing with reassurances that everything is all right & always has been. Seeing cracks in the belief system. I am not -the resistance! Whew!

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No, you are not the resistance. Nor the self-hate nor the fear nor the emptiness nor the belief system! Whew, is right. Proving to ourselves that we are trustworthy and will show up for ourselves is probably the most powerful “self-care” we can provide. “Everything is all right and always has been.” True. Gassho

I show up and participate wholeheartedly, with pure presence and trust in Life. EKC raises fear of having done or said something inappropriate. Attention goes to the belief and fear the person can't be in the world without ego's oversight. Bamboozled, but seeing the process is freeing! Gassho. R/L

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We are here to learn, right? You want to see every nook and cranny where ego hides out, from which it launches its attacks. You say something in a moment of unconsciousness. Two insights will be available: 1) you weren’t there (and probably thought you were) and 2) you get to see/hear what ego says and does when it distracts you into unconsciousness. These are very important things to realize, yes? Fear is what enables ego to keep that suffering process in play. Gassho

Realizing over the last week all the negativity accumulated in my life, my fear of abandonment will do that, part of the BPD. Just trying to be brave and turn toward these fears with attitude: So what? And it's ok. Focus on the people and influences that play to my strengths.

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Yes. Re-directing the attention is our path to success. All kinds of stuff has happened. Yep, it sure has. “So what?” is really our only approach to that. We can’t even learn anything from it because egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate has so garbled the facts. So we just cut it all loose and get here. And we focus on the good! Gassho

Ego calls “waiting for Life’s guidance” as isolation, or is isolation being called “waiting for Life’s guidance”? Another duality, keeping me frozen, inactive. Maybe dancing? Body awareness seems key, and more R/L? Last Socratic class was so “threatening”, ego made me miss several posts, not this time! Gassho R/L

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We can never have too much dancing or too much R/L as far as I can tell. Here’s something to consider: Life is ALWAYS offering us guidance. Life is always guiding us whether we see it as guidance or not. Beating the heart, breathing the body, digesting the food, etc. It also “speaks” to us about particulars. You can practice hearing Life’s guidance to “take out that recycling on the way to the car” or “pick up some apples when you go past that little market.” That’s it too. We don’t need to hole up, hold our breath, and wait for THE BIG Message. Know what I mean? Gassho

About the moments to be present in the body with very limited or no conversation... I haven't found a way to go there on purpose, especially when sitting. When I get there, it seems more like a grace. It happens more easily in working meditation or when exercising. R/L

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That’s fine. You’re establishing contact. Here’s something to try: Sit down and bring attention to where you experience the conversation. Just watch for a few moments. Then, take a large breath and hold it in. Notice that as you attend to holding the breath the thoughts slow down or stop. There’s a space or a gap. Take a couple of normal breaths and then do the same thing while holding the breath out at the end of an exhale. Hold the breath out and watch what happens to the thoughts. Let me know! Gassho

Yes now that you say that, I’ve tried that. But then they’d continue “crossing the line,” and I’d have to keep leaning in. But they wouldn’t know I was “leaning in,” they would assume I “liked” what was happening. Eventually I’d end the “experiment.” (This is so helpful!!!!) Gassho R/L

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Good. Cause now it’s time NOT to end the experiment, right? This is one of those “when sitting and the voices say ‘I can’t stand this for another minute,’ stand it for another minute before you mindfully move.” Like that. Just a little past the line. Look to see if there is, in fact, someone who “likes it.” Gassho