Submission 4 Responses

I identify urgency by ego's bossiness, tight shoulders, shallow breathing, elevated heartrate and by behaviors such as double-checking and struggling to remember things. If I do things in a certain way and think of everything then everything will be okay. Listening to "I choose trust and joy" recordings repeatedly. R/L

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I’m projecting that listening to those recordings is what makes it easy for you to identify ego’s shenanigans, is that so? You’re listening to “I choose trust and joy” and conditioning tries to sneak in some urgency about getting everything right so you’ll be okay. The two messages sound and feel so different there’s no confusion about what’s coming from where. True? As we let go of that illusion of control and learn to cherish being present to Life unfolding the need to remember everything just falls away. So relaxing! Gassho

 

Seeing ease/unease as a canary for below-the-radar stories/conversations. Unease = a Jaws soundtrack playing somewhere. But that doesn't mean there's an actual Jaws!!! It's like hearing Jaws and then cutting to pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz. Let's get Mentor on that mic! R/L Gassho

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That’s EXACTLY what it’s like—Jaws is playing in the background but there’s no actual shark. People who were traumatized by that movie hear the soundtrack and get scared on dry land! Those are the kinds of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate connections we’re trying to see through. Training ourselves to get attention on the Mentor, on thisherenow, is the way to break those karmic associations. Gassho

 

It occurred to me to stop wondering if I am doing the right best thing and prepare for the interviews coming next month. No more wasting time being in the conversation. R/L

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YES! Yes, indeed. Always. That’s what we’re doing. We’re getting out of the conversation and focusing attention on what is so NOW. Perhaps what is so now is something to do to prepare for the interviews next month—and that something is happening NOW. What is NOT happening NOW is wondering, noodling, ruminating, speculating, etc. We get HERE and allow Life to inform. Gassho

 

It is so plain this is a process. The content feels special because it's my child but I can see the process working elsewhere and it's exactly the same. The content is a tool for EKconditioning/ SelfHate. Ready to protect this person from that..Next step to REMEMBER that commitment? R/L

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Yes. The reason R/L is so important for us is that it takes away egocentric karmic conditioning/ self-hate’s ability to obscure our insights. It distracts and people get caught up in something “new,” which never is, and forget what we know to be true. You’ve seen this is a process that catches you in suffering. Recording that insight and listening to it every day is how you’re not going to get fooled into forgetting. Keeping awareness on that particular bamboozle is going to go a long way toward freeing you from a particular pernicious con. Gassho

 

Money was easier to "control" when single. I saved a lot, had "my" priorities. Now, with a wife who has more of a "spend" orientation, and these expensive kids, “my” money feels out of control. And perhaps all of this is the story I need to drop! R/L. Gassho

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Well, yes, that is ultimately no doubt the case, however it’s never either/or. You have a concern about the amount of money people are spending verses saving. That seems like a family issue, doesn’t it? If one person in a family is struggling it’s likely the whole family is struggling. It may not be terribly obvious, but I bet it is. There’s strife between husband and wife, strife between father and children. It may not be huge, but it doesn’t take much strife to affect a family’s wellbeing. How would you make it different? Can you look at the specifics and come up with a proposal that would please you? Could be a jumping off place for a good discussion. Gassho

 

How does projection as friend work?

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You have 50 words in which to express yourself in this class. If you really want a perspective on your issue it would be helpful to use enough of those 50 words to be clear about what you’re exploring. We could say that projection works well as friend but I doubt that’s what you’re asking. Gassho

 

Yes! That conversation is so sneaky! It comes in with such "logical arguments." Starts with a simple observation and snowballs into "and then this, that, other." R/L'd to support dropping conversation. Reminders of what is so NOW. When I return to presence, so clear what was story. Seeing so much!

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Good! The difficulty you’re catching on to is that when we’re in an egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate conversation the “one” who is speaking and the “one” who is listening are in cahoots. Ego is talking to ego and ego agrees absolutely with what ego has to say. We step out of that pas de deux and wonder what in the heck we were thinking. Fact of the matter is, we weren’t. “You” weren’t there at all. What’s meant to happen is that you get “awakened” after the dance with a shocked voice asking something along the lines of, “What in the world is the matter with you?” Sneaky indeed. We must be quicker still. Gassho

 

I focused on being satisfied with what my life is now and I felt more present and connected. was less distracted by the pull into what I didn’t do / wish I’d done. Things felt calmer and still missed the feeling of having more energy and “excitement.”

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It is possible to be satisfied with what your life is now (feeling present and connected) AND do whatever Life calls you to do that’s energizing and exciting. It’s NEVER either/or. What usually happens is that Life offers, “You could do X.” “You could do Y.” “You could do Z,” and karma is muttering “nah, I don’t want to do that.” Why? Because going with Life’s plan doesn’t result in suffering and ego is always in pursuit of suffering. Gassho

 

With awareness/”knowing” how I feel, a natural desire to communicate those feelings arises. Acting on that desire when it arises squeezes out conversation with ego. When I didn’t act, had opportunity to make two-handed recording. With love and support from Mentor, sent the communication. Experience of practicing wholeness. R/L

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“Wholeness” is the word, isn’t it? When acting from/with/in the moment we don’t need anything from anyone else. Someone doesn’t understand what you mean? That’s okay. Someone doesn’t give an answer you’d hope for? That’s okay. What matters to you is that you’re in touch with how you’re feeling and you’re communicating. That’s satisfaction! Gassho

 

Every day, the practice. Things aren’t better with my “thorny challenge.” Although the kitchen is clean and today I found my grandmother’s ring, which has been lost for 12 years, and I was gifted with a $300 coupon from a company I do business with often. So things are opening. R/L

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Really? Things aren’t any better? Life is giving you rings and money…. Yep, it does seem as if things are opening up and I’m going to encourage you not to close any doors with statements such as “things aren’t better,” okay? Things are better! You’ve got a clean kitchen, a ring, and a $300 coupon to prove it! You can just say “thank you” and watch for the next opening Life sends your way. It’s fun, isn’t it? Who knows what’s coming next…. Gassho

 

if it's a workshop:I don't shame/abandon myself no matter what. So I can lose it all, All illusions, forms. I'm left with myself. Ego doesn't believe it, shockingly. Thinks it will be disastrous, or painful. (is already.) Additionally my relationship is strained and I've been down. Feels scary.

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First, “You” never shame and abandon “yourself.” The voices of self-hate, in service to egocentric karmic conditioning, shame and abandon you. (Actually we wish they would abandon us but they won’t!) You’re afraid to take this step because you’re a “spiritual person” and people will think badly of you if you want to make enough money to support your family, correct? To be a “spiritual person” tortured by voices of “what would people think/you could lose it all,” sort of disqualifies us, right? Sounds as if you’ve made (a bit of?) peace with the notion that you could “lose it all.” It’s all illusion anyway, just stuff, all made up. Yes? But ego really wants you to stay in fear. Why? Because that’s how you’ll keep giving it all the attention. As soon as you face down ego’s predictions of disastrous and “just too” painful to bear, you’ll be free---regardless of the outcome. Yes? I can imagine this sort of stress will put a strain on a relationship and get a person down. That’s what’s making you even more vulnerable to the fear. Grab that spiritual warrior courage, feel it straighten your spine, and step out to take your place as a spiritual hero. You can do this! Gassho

 

Guide’s response totally threw conditioning. Revealed layer of unseen karma: This human is NOT allowed to express strong emotion-EVER! Conditioned beliefs: there’s a “right/spiritual way to feel & act. If I’m REALLY practicing people won’t see strong emotion from me.” There is shame/fear re: people witnessing my strong emotion. Wow! R/L

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And we know what wants to keep that bamboozle going, don’t we? Heck, there’s no really good suffering generated by self-expressed people. We need big amounts of repression, suppression, and depression for big amounts of suffering. If we keep in mind ego’s motivation in generating that shame and fear, what’s it like to consider going all Italian? Passion! That’s what we’re talking about. Life is PASSIONATE and you get to express that passion. Gassho

 

 

 

 

 

 

Urge doesn’t need meaning, be taken seriously, acted upon or resisted. It’s a hook to lure Being into feeding its reification. Hmmm! wondering what other unconscious habitual response patterns are in place that maintain ego- by giving me message “nothing to see here or too scary don’t look.” Gassho R/L

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Ah, you have officially been bitten by the Curiosity bug! This is quite wonderful, isn’t it? Hmm… wonder where else ego is hiding out, lurking, waiting to lure. I can see those hands rubbing together in gleeful anticipation! Gassho

 

Becoming present/calm on mammogram day was en-couraging. Now, when thinking of past traumas, I look inside and can’t find a “damaged” self, only *thoughts* about damage: big aha. Still, my body’s often tense/braced, despite coming back to this-breath-now. How to re-cultivate ease in this body and with Life? Gassho.

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You’re doing it! You’re doing exactly what’s required. You’re being present, paying attention, seeing how a false sense of you and your life has been created and you’re dismantling it. Yes, it will likely take a while for the residual tension to leave the body, AND if we use each moment of awareness of the tension to bring us back to a letting go and a grateful presence, we really don’t even mind the reminder! Gassho

 

Fun activities for dropping the tug-of-war rope, indeed! Wow! Doing those kinds of activities that ego would consider “silly,” and would NEVER do right in the middle of a “serious” tug-of-war between right and wrong, really shakes up the system! Love it!! R/L

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And you’re having more fun already! Only “someone” (ego) resisting presence would label present fun “silly.” You can see why in Zen the highest form of expression is the fool, huh? There’s round old Ho Tai with his bag of treasures, ambling down the road, stopping to play with all the children he meets. Some versions of his story say he’s carrying candy. The version I’ve heard is that his bag is filled with all the things the world has no use for—integrity, kindness, joy, generosity…. He’s a living message! Gassho

 

My project is not only stressful to me (much less so with practice), but to those around me. fighting to not take it personally when staff and husband/boss complain about project. This is a recurring process for me-Getting feelings hurt. Project is Interesting microcosm of my whole life. R/L

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What you’re saying is that this is a perfect practice workshop, yes? You can see that the issue you’re struggling with is karmic. You fall for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s game of “my feelings are hurt,” and everyone gets pulled into ego’s suffering drama. This is very helpful because you now know where to focus attention. Perhaps a process map would assist? Start putting post-its on your map at whatever point you recognize the process. For instance, “aware voices are talking about what ‘they’ are thinking. Feel my stomach clench. Voices say I need to try harder. I don’t want to try harder! It’s not my fault. If they would leave me alone…” Just capture whatever you see and keep adding to the map until you see the whole process from start to finish. Yes, there is a start-to-finish because at some point you want to quit and rather than quitting you get talked into some version of “be a better person and get it right.” Let me know what your version of this is! Gassho

 

Looking for “way to break the addiction that does not loop back into it” then is revealed as ego stall tactic. Way is clear beyond gate of thought/desire. No thinking about breaking addiction; just the PRACTICE of bringing attention HERE to discover it is everything we truly want. R/L

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That’s a big one, isn’t it? “You need to stop smoking those cigarettes.” “Yeah, I do. Let me have one more cigarette while I think about how to do that.” NOPE. This leaves us in that process of “catching it sooner and sooner.” Because we will get hooked in and come to out in the middle somewhere. That’s okay. We just wake up, see where we are, and drop it. We don’t have to figure out “how I got here.” We know the answer to that. I got distracted and snatched! Gassho

 

Email writing went deep. Surprised. Momentarily felt deeply understood. Touched. Re: Beliefs-R/L to remember what's helpful. Forget all else. Happens anyway. Forgetting is like falling. Sometimes just fall. Surprise! Falling back into the present; the beloved. Today, when "falling," "being with," experiencing all creatures as divine expressions. Gassho.

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Yes, we’re finding that magic marriage of letting go and falling with focused willingness. How can we make an effort without making an effort? So Zen, huh? What is effortless effort? We let go, fall into NOW, and are with the divine expression of all being. Gassho

 

Yes, I am getting a sense experientially of this core principal. Now I can ask who is it that wants to zone out, watch Netflix or eat chocolate? Just asking the question can help to dis-identify and bring the process into compassionate awareness. R/L

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It can be a fun moment for the “And then what?” game. I zone out, watch Netflix and eat chocolate, and then what? Conditioning always leaves us with the “Oh, won’t that be heavenly” rather than the “And I’m going to beat the stuff out of you afterward” part of the program. So when the campaign starts you can just ask the voice in the head, “And then what?” Gassho

 

Thankful for Life's insight to remind me to submit something here. What is underneath the story that is being told right now? Grateful that this question just dropped in. Identified with here and now. Great, gassho! And stop, drop and breathe, again every second. R/L

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By George, I think you’ve got it! Insight drops in to submit your insight to class, insight guides you to look at what story you’re being told. You realize you’re present. You realize you feel great; there are no suffering stories anywhere. You’re aware that practicing presence in each and every second is what keeps you so joyfully in Life’s flow. YES! Gassho

 

Partner and I had coffee with a friend today. As the two were talking I was noticing the voices yammering as to what I should say. This interfered with listening, so I didn't talk, just listened. Much more relaxing. Got quiet inside and enjoyed their exchanges. What fun! R/L

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Presence IS relaxing and fun, isn’t it? And soon, a prediction here, something will drop in that you want to add to the conversation, the timing will be perfect, the contribution appropriate, and that whole process will also be relaxing and fun. I bet! Gassho

 

Not so fun when fear, worry, thinking, conversation engaged. Notice turning attention to the thoughts gets it going. Feeling inadequate, anxious, run away, hide, become invisible. Habit to feel this way. Suffer. See it and still afraid. no way to stop the feelings. Kindness, relax, come back to now.

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There IS a way to “stop the feelings,” isn’t there? Just as you say, attention habitually goes to conditioned mind where the conversation of something wrong is ubiquitous. Focused on that conversation you feel fearful, and the conditioned “what to do” reactions prevail. You realize all this and the fear is still there. HOW TO STOP THE FEAR? Yep, turn attention away from the fear-generating conversation and turn attention to the kindness, the relaxation of thisherenow. Done! Now all that’s required is repeating that process. In other words—practice! Gassho

 

It's true! In spite of what the voices say, taking good care of the body is not difficult, and with the slightest amount of care and attention the body really thrives. The only thing that is overwhelming and “too much work” is the conversation in the head. R/L Gassho

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And thank goodness we can drop that overwhelming, too much work conversation in conditioned mind like the proverbial hot spud—with no fear. There it is, yammering on, dragging us down, and then poof! turn attention to thisherenow and here’s all the energy needed for kind caring of the human being. So good! Gassho

 

It’s such a kindness to be out of that loop, so much space to be present to whatever’s next on the schedule. Instead of ignoring reminders that pop up, there’s action and gratitude that I’m present with a sense of accomplishment of a job well done. R/L

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EXACTLY! We add a little “Well done, thank you” recording (being sure to do a thorough recap of precisely what we did so well!), and there’s nothing we can’t enjoy doing. Are there things we truly would not enjoy doing? No doubt, but we are rarely if ever asked to do them, right? What we’re asked to do, that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate resists so vociferously, are activities that are for us. I have work and chores to do, and you’d think by the moans and groans of the voices of ego that I’m an indentured servant being worked to death and beaten at the end. AND it can certainly feel that way if we let ego drag us around in a state of misery, hating everything about everything. A little pat on the back and a “thank you, well done” will go a long way toward making every moment of whatever we’re doing joyful. Why is that so? Because ego cannot abide in the present, and we have to be present to be happy and grateful! Gassho

First ‘evidence’ came up was list of accomplished tasks. Then dropped in, ‘I am doing the best I can’: I work hard, am fulfilled and others seem to respect/benefit from my contributions, regardless of being the ‘best’. Insight dropped in: the ‘evidence’ became I am showing up to practice. R/L

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So, the only “evidence” that there’s any problem whatsoever is coming from a conversation inside your head, yes? Isn’t that good, cause we know we can safely drop that! Given that, what kind of “conversation” do you want to live in? Gassho

 

The direct experience of Presence, a game changer. Saw on another level the gift of ego trying to run old patterns of direness, figuring out, focusing on others, and Life noticing and then dropping it. Gratitude for this practice - it is waking up and saving this person's life. Gassho R/L

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Gratitude for the person showing up and practicing, yes? It’s everyone and everything all coming together, isn’t it? How will you avail yourself of that “direct experience of Presence” going forward? Gassho

 

Tougher going! ekc wants more work, less play!.more guilt!listening to R/L of this so far daily. A schedule seems great!will be more objective!less subjective. Struggling with how much time to give to what!arm wrestling with ekc.R/L

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When we first go up against egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s control of a particular aspect of life, it does feel as if we’ve just run into a buzzsaw. That passes. Keep in mind that ego doesn’t want anything except human suffering, which it requires to “survive.” Whatever you’ll listen to and believe is what it will say. Since that’s the case, you can make up anything, agree to stick with it, stick with it, vanquish the voices, and get on about your life! Here’s a possibility: Make a list of all the things you want/need to do in a week. Lay out your schedule for the week to accommodate those things (kind of like retreat schedule). You have times for meals, personal care, introspection (meditation, R/L, yoga, etc.), exercise, and working meditation. Perhaps you end your individual schedule at a particular time and move into “family time.” During working meditation (maybe a morning and an afternoon period) you get through that “want to do” list. Do that for one week and evaluate. But during the week—SACROSANCT! You will see it all. Gassho

 

Oh, oh. I came up with the idea to do a daily appreciations of ME recording every morning. Judging by conditioning’s cry of outrage, I’m on the right track. A recording of loving and admiring myself as the spiritual hero on my path. So far, conditioning doesn’t like listening. R/L.

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What a surprise! I’m shocked, aren’t you? Those voices are there to take care of us, keep us on the right track, make sure we don’t make a mistake…. How interesting that they don’t seem to like us. And they don’t! Make them listen often, huh? Gassho

 

Dissatisfaction story shifts from job struggles to intense frustration over sexless marriage. I talk to my wife about touching again and she brings up old hurts. I acknowledge mistakes but am angry. Ego says here's the facts: lousy job, no sex, hopeless. I am so stirred up it scares me.

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Bet you don’t feel depressed though, do you? It’s good to take these opportunities to see where the energy goes when it’s not available for us. Since we’re doing awareness practice and not acting out practice, we can safely explore lots of options. Is there a counselor you and your wife could see? I don’t know if there’s one anywhere nearby but I really admire Imago Therapy. It’s like awareness practice in that we don’t have to endure yet another go-round of “what my parents did wrong.” It’s very here and now stuff. So, that’s 1) Are you two willing for counseling? 2) What are you willing to risk? Do you want to stay in this marriage no matter what? 3) How far are you willing to go to save the marriage? I have more questions but how about if you look at those and let me know what you see. Remember, insight not noodling! Gassho

 

The koan of willingness has morphed into freedom. Freedom from identity. Practicing with small daily content choosing to thwart karmic patterns. Yet, aware that just holding the koan in my awareness is quite enough. No, to conditioning's urge for an improvement plan as the is nothing wrong. R/L

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Oh, so very, very wise! No self-improvement plans because there’s nothing wrong. If I had the money I’d get that up on every billboard in the world. We don’t need to listen to the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate tell us what’s wrong with us, and we don’t need to follow their advice for our betterment. We don’t need them at all. Hooray. Just keeping attention on thisherenow does the trick. Gassho

 

Feeling like there's nowhere to go from here in this dialogue. I'm letting go of suffering over suffering and practicing taking care of, being kind to, and supporting this human. Not doing a great job of taking care, but noticing that and bringing kindness there. Gassho.

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Isn’t that somewhere to go in the dialogue? How are you NOT doing a great job of taking care and what will it take to do a great job? Gassho

 

Yes! Writing a response opens the portal that allows insight to arise. Life is providing information all the time. A conditioned NO arises a split second later and obscures the truth of what Life was pointing to. Karma predisposes us to fall for certain conditioned traps. R/L Gassho

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Yep. And we will fall if we’re not paying close attention. Until we are paying close attention, there doesn’t seem to be even a split second gap. There isn’t even a trap! It’s just how it is. No is just the answer. Yes? But then we see it! Oh, yippee skippee. There’s that gap people keep talking about. And it isn’t tiny! It’s a PORTAL for heaven’s sake. You got it. Gassho

 

Why does my ego go ballistic in romantic relationships? I can ease on down the road with a friendship, but when intimacy comes into it, I, and I’ve noticed other well adjusted people, go into some version of DEFCON4 and everything is heightened. R/L

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You mean even “normal” people feel that way? I had a friend who told me that she goes to bed with someone as one person and wakes up a completely different person. Sound about like it? First it’s not “your” ego. That’s the most helpful single thing you can get. It’s not you, it actually has nothing to do with you. It’s just attached to you, something added on later, around adolescence. Well, the add-on started way before that, but lots got solidified in adolescence. One of the next “most helpful” things to get is that ego will go after you with anything that’s important to you. Romantic relationship when that’s an issue, but if you get married and have kids the “what” it gets you with will change. The importance of this is how it can help you. That’s where awareness practice comes in. You can use watching the process of the voices of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate torturing you to learn how to be free of suffering. Sound good? Gassho

 

Dropping the story of having to get this right. Noticing who gets to speak in this submission. Mentor assures me I am always accepted, always loved, always belong to Life. How could it be otherwise. And, still wanting to be having a different experience. Suspect compassion would be helpful here. R/L

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I suspect you’re right! You’ve been around practice long enough to know the reason you’re not having that accepted/loved/belongs experience is that you’re looking to egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate for information. It’s never going to give you anything but no—no acceptance, no love, no belonging. It’s a “no” and it’s not going to give you a “yes.” Stick with the Mentor, huh? How can you practice choosing the Unconditional over the conditional? Gassho

 

The other day I tried affirmations. It was the nicest 15 to 20 minutes I've spent. Aware but still moving, bringing attention back to breath. I tried to replicate this a couple days later. It didn't work. Headache. Keep practicing, right?

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Yes. And go for reassurances rather than affirmations. Stick with what’s true, and repeat until it lands. Did you read that one about the father who taught his kids always to say “thank you” until they mean it? That’s it. Stick with “You are lovable and I love you” until you know it in the marrow of your bones. (That was just my version; you need to make up the one that speaks to you.) Gassho

 

I see that Ekc wants me to believe that I do not actually have the ability, the power, to ignore its voices.. And that it would be much easier and more comfortable just to give up. It helps to think of this work as a journey full of joy and not such a struggle.

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Good. And I can promise you this—giving up would never be easier or more comfortable. That would be signing yourself into a dungeon with “You chose this” written across the inside of the bolted door. As soon as you get to that “never gonna quit, never gonna give up” place, things will begin to turn around. You’ll have the energy back for you, and with that energy comes lightness, fun, expansiveness, and a sense of adventure. Stick with it. You’re right there at that “fork” we keep talking about! Gassho

­­­­He’s moving in with another woman (friend). Conditioning says I must endure to be Zen, I’ve to do something to stop it, and if I were really Zen I shouldn’t have/communicate needs around it. Part of me wants to talk with him and/or her but conditioning muddling it. R/L

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I don’t know what “really Zen” means, but here’s what occurs to me and I bet it has to you: how about a grown up conversation? You two are in a relationship, right? Relating is what you’re doing, yes? And, yet there’s this huge thing going on with you that you can’t speak about because…? He’ll be upset? You’ll lose him? It’ll destroy the relationship? The Zen thing to do—if there were such a thing—is to drop the ego conversation in conditioned mind. Yes? We’re practicing being present as an expression of Life, not buying into ego’s stories about what it means to be present and how one should then behave. Big difference, huh? If you were “being Zen” you would have come forth with whatever was authentically present in the moment you received this information, not gone off to noodle it. Let me know! Gassho

 

Looking at beliefs around "attraction" -- seems to be behind many beliefs about weight. What wants to "attract"? What IS attraction anyway? How does ego horn in and corrupt that process? Who decides if I’m attractive (even beyond physically)? What defines “unattractive”? Just some places I’m looking! Gassho R/L

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And perhaps “is that so?” will be your best ally. Bring awareness of every “thought” (all that oozes around in conditioned mind) on the subject and let it be greeted with “is that so?” It’s a process akin to “thanks for sharing.” No need to figure anything out, just a chance to open to a much broader picture of beliefs and assumptions keeping god knows what in place! Gassho

 

Experiencing deep sadness, grief over the sudden death of my dog. Also noticing how this is not the only life experience occurring, that beauty is all around, and amazing support. Allowing the deep grief, receiving all else that is also here, now. R/L Gassho

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We get to see the interconnectedness of all Life in a situation such as this, don’t we? We get to see all these, what ego would call, disparate elements arising together and clearly one. At a time like this egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate would have us focus on death and loss, deadening us to the Life that also includes death and loss. Because of this we can feel more fully alive in these moments than in those moments when only “good stuff” is happening. Makes us especially grateful to those who help us feel so deeply. Gassho

 

So being unconditional love is not being a doormat, nor acting from sadness/hate/anger, nor ego-involved arguing. The image I have now is that being unconditional love is like treating other’s hate like the weather: don’t try to change or judge it, just respond as intelligently and resourcefully as possible. R/L

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And be the difference. What is true for you in the face of hate? You choose Unconditional Love. What does that look like? If someone makes a racist remark or wishes someone ill, how does Unconditional Love respond? We must be in Unconditional Love to find out. That’s the true blessing for us! Gassho

 

Seems like as I connect again to life, Egocentrickarmicconditioningselfhate brings out the big guns. It tells me this is a problem--there's no point in trying because it will just get louder, meaner. Seeing its tactics strengthens my resolve, and I find life right here right now. R/L

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Yep. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate blusters and threatens but that’s all it’s got. It can’t do anything to you. It can’t even make you listen to it—how cool is that? The retort from about first grade—thumbs in the ears, fingers waving as you sing nanner nanner nanner—might just be the very best response. Gassho

 

I hear you. When I let go, space opens around me. In that spaciousness, there is peace. Thank you so much, Cheri.

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You are so very, very welcome. Gassho

 

Yes, thank you. Thinking is ego justifying itself, taking things personally, reacting to whatever story it's telling. It's the whole production team, writer, director, actor, critic, audience. Peace is waking from the dream and realizing it was not me. There is no me. Gassho R/L

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Beautifully stated. It takes that whole production team to create the illusion of a self to suffer. Waking up is surely bliss, is it not? Gassho

 

When one trick of ekc/sh is seen, another sneakily moves in. Mara lurks with so many tactics. I remain vigilant, waking up in every moment of delusion/distraction. Something takes me off course again, gets me hooked, and then again I see it. Back to center. R/L Gassho

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Exactly! And it’s fun, isn’t it? We’re cleaning up karma, doing our part, and waking up to how things work in the process. When we’re not believing a yammering voice haranguing on about what’s wrong, there’s just us enjoying being here moment by moment. Gassho

 

This inquiry is thrilling! To hear that it was possible to be present and not go into the adrenalin producing response just stopped ego cold!. ”But, but I can’t” wailed the voice. Life dropped in repeat “I choose peace and calm” over and over as a place to start R/L .

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“I” can’t and “you,” as Life’s expression, certainly can! What a deal, huh? “I choose peace and calm.” What a delicious, delightful and, yes, thrilling way to live. Gassho

 

The biggest bamboozle: believing it reflects on “me,” that “I’m” colluding with conditioning, for seeing the choice available between conditioning and authenticity and not finding the willingness to choose authenticity. Seeing for the first time the belief that I can and must overcome conditioning in every moment wow! R/L Gassho

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So relaxing! All that doing we’ve been supposed to be doing—so exhausting. Instead we can just stay in awareness and, as Bankei points out, allow the Unborn Buddha Mind to manage everything perfectly. We’re here, we’re paying attention, there’s that little fork…. Gassho

 

The human, lost at first, has enjoyed several days of not second guessing not wondering which voice comes from where, not having the conversation. The human had festive meals with family. IGNORE - ance turned Joy! R/L

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Ignorance may not be anything we want to pursue but ignore-ing certainly is, isn’t it? What voice is which and where and why and who cares. Attention on awareness in the present and all is well. Will it stay that way? Likely not, but that’s what makes awareness practice so fun. There’s always an exciting “spiritual opportunity” for us to see and see through. Gassho

 

Ha, getting stuck as an opportunity. That really helps shift things. From there, staying here and engaged, the focus is no longer on doing the right thing. When Life drops something in, the what and the how are revealed with clarity and willingness. R/L Gassho

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The difference comes down to is Life for you or against you, right? Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, being “no” to Life’s “yes,” tries to make everything about wrong and mistake. Life, being that “yes,” is about learn and grow. Ego contracts, Life expands. Ego is a focus on less and smaller, while Life is more and bigger. We know which team we want to be on, eh? Gassho

 

 

 

 

The guide has been discussing ego boundaries with me. I have had an unexpected dip into depression. I think it is fleeting. Is it ego who fears things like 'others will notice' or 'this will last forever.'?

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In a word—yes. That conversation IS ego. Ego has its illusory existence in a conversation in conditioned mind. No conversation, no identification. Consider this: You can’t be depressed without a conversation. No label, no conversation, no depression. I know, it sounds out there, but if you look closely, you’ll see it’s true. You may not have a lot of energy available, but that’s the extent of it. Depression is a conversation. If you had the same amount of energy in a conversation of, “This is great; I’m so relaxed I can finally rest,” you would not be calling what you’re feeling depression. This is why Recording and Listening is so important; ego cannot maintain its fake picture of life while you are engaged in, and while attention is focused on, a conversation of presence, gratitude, kindness, and love. Not possible. Attention can only be on one thing at a time! Please prove that to yourself and let me know. I’m looking for every “Amen!” I can get. Gassho

 

Practice stronger than ever. Hoping small voice has enough strength to not get overtaken by much more dramatic attention grabbing voice (regular reminders). Inspiring to think of channeling effort to be benefit to all. This “project” is a big distraction from what I feel is my real gift and calling.

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Life will let us know what is our “real gift and calling” as we watch closely. Ego often wants to talk about what could/should be happening rather than what is happening. As the big picture comes into view, we get to see that everything in our lives, even—or especially—those things the voices say are distractions, are essential pieces in the puzzle. Rarely does egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate talk about “distraction” unless Life is “distracting” us from ego’s agenda. Know what I mean? Gassho

 

Adding to suffering is not helpful. I left the door open with sign well lit. The shouts are loud, moaning, angry, demanding, pleading, and bitter, painful to hear. I look at projection. Commit to practice self care. Breathe. Watching ekc/self-hate ploys to drag me back into the drama. R/L Gassho

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It is indeed difficult to go up against all that karma—ours and everyone else’s! We just keep returning attention to thisherenow, reminding ourselves that everyone—ourselves included—is adequate to their life experience. Good to remember too that any voice we hear in the head that calls us “you” and speaks in judgmental, threatening ways is NOT the wisdom, love, and compassion that animates us. The judgmental, threatening voices coming from outside the head we can safely overlook. Gassho

 

Maybe knowing what to do sometimes doesn’t pop up because it is the very steps of getting here, to the unfolding knowing, that is the knowing itself, Life itself. Which might otherwise be skipped. Being with not knowing is learning in itself, being here in the knowing of not knowing.

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Yes! Exactly so. We don’t know and we’re not going to know because there’s nothing to know and no one to know it. It’s not about knowing. Ego so wants us to believe it’s about knowing because the pursuit of something that doesn’t exist can keep a human being in the suffering state ego needs to appear to exist for a lifetime. Gassho

 

I want family" was response to why I see them. want grandparents for my kids (they are good grandparents). I want my parents to see, hear, validate, appreciate, and treat me as competent and respect me as an adult/parent. also need to learn to do that myself.

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Sounds as if you’re starting to see that YOU are the one who needs to see, hear, validate, appreciate, treat, and respect YOU as an adult/parent. When we have those glaring “kick me” signs on us, those “ego buttons” ready to be pushed, we can’t really blame other people for participating. The way “others treat us” gives us great information about where we need to focus attention. A hint: Getting out of any and all conversations in conditioned mind about “them” will speed your journey. Gassho

 

Seeing how downsizing/simplifying/organizing behaviors serve as coping (illusory control) mechanisms in difficult times. To simply ‘be with’ without ‘doing’ feels like a way of honoring Life in all it’s forms. 'Doing' becomes turning to love, kindness, acceptance, and staying ‘here’ with what is -- open to Life’s guidance. R/L

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There’s a very helpful insight, eh? Religious types have long encouraged us to consider that it’s the “good” behaviors that will be our biggest stumbling blocks on the path. Once we get the “wake up and end suffering” bug, we’re happy to go after those “bad habits” with a vengeance. But let go of the good stuff? All the ways I’m the “right” person? Oh, that’s so much harder, hence the marvelous opportunity. Gassho

 

Crushing depression, insomnia, anxiety back. Feeling of failure. Nigh on impossible to R/L things I love/positives. Perceived deceit is massive trigger/grenade into my nervous system. Real or imagined? I'm told imagined. Nervous system hypersensitised to deceit from long history - mother (pathological/illness), previous relationships. My stuff? R/L

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If you define “my” as egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, then yes, it’s “your” stuff. We are looking at eons, kalpas of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate here. We don’t just get to say, “Okay, I’m done; I don’t want this to happen anymore,” and have it go away. Once we jump into the fray with both feet, we don’t even idealize that. Finding our way out of this maze of suffering is going to free us. Free us. Give us FREEDOM. It’s gonna involve some rough patches. Everything up to “nigh” is an ego-supporting conversation in conditioned mind. The “nigh” sentence is you being bamboozled and falling for it. OF COURSE IT’S CHALLENGING TO R/L OUR WAY OUT OF LIFETIMES OF SUFFERING. The rest of what you wrote is also an example of ego conning you. Can you see that? (I bet the voices are shrieking about how insensitive I am and how I don’t understand.) It’s really, really hard to R/L until you can successfully get attention OFF of the stories and INTO the present. AND YOU CAN DO IT! Gassho

 

Pattern: I think he's fabulous, don't want to feel rejected, work super hard to get them to like me. Feeling safe I'm liked, I become critical and irritated. Feel egocentric karmic conditioning deluded me into picking the wrong person, which it may have. Beatings, noodling, breakup and alone again. R/L Gassho

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That entire story is an ego-maintaining soap opera. It is karma-solidifying on steroids. That is a commitment to suffering. You have a choice: Continue with that “pattern” and maintain ego suffering, or stop it and turn attention to practicing awareness in thisherenow. Gassho

 

After last guidance ekc had all kinds of responses/stories. The mentor and I are reassured that guidance is available everywhere when present. Period. Also, taking our time when faced with ekc anger stories really works, gassho.

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That old “count to ten” adage is a good one, isn’t it? “Sleep on it” is another. We know what to do, we just don’t do it when in the grip of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. That’s okay. The Buddha reassured us that “when we’ve suffered enough” we’ll begin to cut our ties to the suffering-causing voices of ego. That’s what you’re doing. That’s very good, huh? Everything we need to “know” is available to us in the present—we can count on that. Gassho

 

Holding conditioning’s reactions to mirror eye-opening. Hovers whip always in hand. Besides, says my existence is responsible for suffering of those around me; feel toxic. And judges them for expecting me to buffer their suffering, me for not being able to. Avoidance. Floodgates opened Seeing (yay!) cruelty in specific situation. (Get an L on that R, okay?) R/

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Yours is a perfect expression of how ego maintains itself. “It’s your fault” is followed by “it’s their fault” which is followed by “it’s your fault” NONSTOP! That’s all the conversation in conditioned mind is—WHAT’S WRONG. It’s you, it’s them, it’s you, it’s them is varied once in a while by “it’s that.” It doesn’t always seem so, but when we look closely we can see that it is. And it’s ALWAYS cruel, isn’t it? Gassho

 

I do have a schedule, feels like especially when doing work/emails, "getting things done" the habit is very strong to get into conditioning, tension and stress. Not clear if the initial schedule is kind then gets taken over, or perhaps conditioning is creating the schedule. R/L Gassho

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Nothing is anything in and of itself. Ah, language! That would be better stated, “Anything is nothing in and of itself.” A schedule is just a schedule; tension and stress are ALWAYS ego. Have a schedule, have no schedule, egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is going to be on you every moment to suck the life force out of you. That “noodling” is a perfect example of how it does it to you. Tension and stress are what’s causing you to suffer and the voices get you to wonder if there’s something wrong with the schedule. See what I mean? How do you break that habit; that’s the question. Gassho

 

When conversation is particularly problematic/I feel especially bad, I go into “I -don’t-know-what-to-do mode”. Fear my R/L-practice is co-opted then and I’ll get even making myself feel better wrong. See ego all over that, human is sad/confused so vulnerable to old/comfortable beliefs. Grateful that my practice is strong right now.

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When you hear the “I don’t know what to do” conversation rev up, turn on a recording about what you most appreciate in Life. Then record everything you appreciate in what’s surrounding you. Listen to those recordings (making more recordings as you feel inspired) until attention is no longer on the “I don’t know what to do” conversation. Here’s where we’re going: There is no such thing as an “I” that is ever going to “know” what to “do.” That whole mess is one of the favorite bamboozles of egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Keep attention on thisherenow and Life will guide your steps. No worries. Gassho

 

My husband and I talked about our different way of seeing things, my urgency and his lack of urgency about getting things done. He concluded that we are different Myer’s-Briggs types INTJ and INFP so of course we see things differently. I felt better after discussing this with him.

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Just don’t confuse “feeling better” with freedom. With that approach you will need to find out what the “type” is of everyone with whom ego has difficulty, and then be consoled that “this difficulty exists because we’re different types.” “Typing” does not address “urgency,” does it? This is what it comes down to: do you want to look to conditioned mind to “figure out,” or do you want to be free of conditioned mind. The urgency conversation happens in conditioned mind and is the source of suffering. Urgency will be replaced with another content as soon as you figure out urgency. We get to choose whether we want conditioned mind or presence to guide our lives. Gassho

 

R/L’d what you wrote, did 2-handed exercise, see new insights. I get identified then send wrong message about spending. Then the karma gets multiplied with their egos not wanting to do without. Also see how I haven't asked for support because ego wants to provide. I will ask. Gassho

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Very good. That will, at the very least, give you a new step. One thing to keep toward the front of awareness is that “they” will get just as identified as you do, possibly more so, since your “stake” is higher than theirs. See what I mean? I may, in this moment, want wholeheartedly to support you in your efforts, but then I get busy, involved, distracted, identified, etc., and I forget all about how much I want to support you. Now it’s about “me” and “me” is always going to come first. (By the way, ego doesn’t want to “provide;” ego wants maximum suffering!) Gassho

 

I'm excited! I know the difference between wholehearted participation and ego's competitive pushing/doing. The task looks the same, but the process/experience is completely different. One’s like joyfully rowing in a boat headed wherever life goes. The other is effort/unease, trying to force the boat to go "my" way. Gassho. R/L

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Amen to that! That’s a perfect description. It’s not what; it’s how. The content may be anything; the process is what matters. Gassho

 

Dropping story of other people and trying to come back to thisherenow. Egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate insisting presence isn’t safe, pushing for isolation, distraction, making world small. Aware excitement about experiencing peace/joy and rescuing her precedes takeover. More time with Mentor, breath, message no danger here, just compassion? R/L Gassho.

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Well, there is danger for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, isn’t there? And that’s what you’re getting to see. Very exciting, indeed. When you feel those isolate, distract, make the world small feelings/messages, you can know ego is threatened and learn to see those as signals that you’re heading in the right direction. Expansive! Gassho

 

I project adequacy and inclusivity to my community. Then, instead of resistance, there is an ego takeover of “my” idea. Much excited conversation. But the awareness had already expanded beyond me to include others. Life offers limitless possibilities that “I” could never do or get. Nothing to “do”. R/L Gassho

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Just let it all unfold, yes? Who knows where any of this is leading—if anywhere! We get to be here as Life unfolds in each moment. The joy of that is enough, isn’t it? Gassho

 

My mind does prefer to label teachers as right or wrong, good or bad. If a teacher whom I love so much betrays me, I would have the tendency to label them as a "false" teacher. But I can extend my love to them all, because they each taught me a little.

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OR YOU COULD DROP THE WHOLE NONSENSE! What you’re describing is not love. The “my mind” that “prefers to label” is egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. There’s no love in egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. In fact, there’s no “me” who is being “betrayed.” The whole thing is a set up to keep that judgmental conversation in conditioned mind fueled. It’s keeping “alive” an illusion that there’s a “real separate self” called “I” that is having all these dualistic experiences. There is no “my love.” Can you see that? Gassho

 

With the assignment: be "changed into fire," I noticed unbridled enthusiasm over a new professional opportunity. I follow the impulse to learn and teach more about online rhetoric and design that inspires non-violent environmental action. I don't know what good might come from that fire, but I'll find out.

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All we have is NOW, right? You’re inspired, enthusiastic. Those are two words that beautifully describe the experience of being present. What will “come of it?” Nothing. All sorts of things we experience as “good” may be in any given moment, but they’re not “coming from.” Do you see the very subtle point in that? The danger, always, is that we’re present, we see a possibility, and rather than staying in presence for the next moment of possibility we go off with what turns out to be egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate in order to “do something.” If we stay in the guidance of thisherenow, we never lose the inspired enthusiasm and we get to be present as all sorts of unfolding happens. See what I mean? Gassho

 

While caring for elderly mother, suddenly, vividly, saw how conditioning denied and deprived her body of the rest, care, and support it needed. Flooded with compassion for her and me, too. Same process! So clear! Since then, seeing a bombardment of continual bamboozlements. Really?!? So obvious! Wow! R /L

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Thank you. Got to have a happy dance on that one! We’re here. We’re paying attention. We see it. So obvious, so clear. In swoops egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate’s damage control brigade. “Look over here, look over there, what about that, you didn’t see that, no, no, no, you didn’t see that….” But you did, didn’t you? Good for you. And you R/L so the brigade won’t be able to take the awareness away from you! Gassho

 

In dark room. Participating in practice opportunities. Conditioning says I should just quit; obviously isn't working. The shift comes with one smile and turning attention to unconditional love. Attention habitually goes to what is wrong. Many practice opportunities. R/L

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ALWAYS the “answer” from egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is “you should just quit.” We should just quit so we can spend the rest of our lives in the dark room with it. I don’t think so and neither do you! Instead, we’ve learned how to turn attention to, how to choose, Unconditional Love, and in one of those dicey moments a smile reminds us. It’s so good, isn’t it? Eons of lifetimes, so we’re told, have conditioned us to give attention to “what’s wrong.” We’re realizing that’s a waste of time, a waste of a life, because in fact there’s nothing wrong. Right? Gassho

 

Insight from class responses: the attention ego keeps on itself when we struggle to get rid of it. I struggle with: how to be OK with ego-infested experience when I know ego-free moment is so much nicer? I know Compassion is the answer but sometimes I just don't know where to find it. R/L

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Well, yes, actually you do. It’s in those two letters at the end of what you wrote: R/L. You don’t have to be okay with ego-infested experience; you can ignore it. As soon as you realize what’s going on—that you’ve been snatched by egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate—you can pick up your recorder and listen to compassionate recordings. The practice is to pick up the recorder. That’s what the voices will go into overdrive to stop you from doing after which they will tell you you don’t know what to do. You do. Gassho

 

I have recently discovered a body sensation which ego has used for years to severely limit joy of living. I intend to ignore the voices and hold the sensation in loving awareness. Anything else? R/L

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That’s an excellent practice, though it can contain a danger. The challenge will be to keep the voices from defining the experience. A sensation passes very quickly when we turn full, no- conversation attention to it. You stay still, breathe, let the breath flow through the whole body with that area of sensation included, and the sensation will pass. The reason it will pass is that there’s no attention holding it in place. Attempting to hold the sensation in loving awareness can give conditioning access to an “is it working/is it not working” assessment.

Can’t wait to hear what happens! Gassho

 

Waking up to and singing along with exuberant morning songs on my recorder totally transformed the last 2 mornings! Joyous music first thing (with optional dancing/walking) rekindles that flame inside that had grown dim/dull. Very lit up! Changes the energy dramatically. Surprisingly simple and easy! Huge Gassho. R/L

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And can be repeated as needed throughout the day, yes? Gassho

 

I asked: "who am I according to ego?" Answer: "every waking moment you should worry about harm coming to people, search out ways to avoid it!" Enlightening. Also noticing Ekc fights to make process of asking for any reasonable reassurance terrifying and filled with "bad will happen" too.

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I project (and hope) that you’re catching on to the fact that egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate is VERY invested in you listening to, believing, and acting out of that nonsense. True? Here’s the piece you really have to get: this is a “cold turkey” situation. There’s nothing to know or understand or figure out or make peace with or anything else. You are addicted to heroin; you have to quit. It’s that straightforward. Any indulgence of asking questions such as “who am I according to ego” is just “shooting up a little.” If you want your life, you have to stop that. Gassho

 

Shoulds/shouldn't are so exhausting so making more effort to just notice them and breathe. What happens should (oops) I mean will be ok.

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Being the ball in ego’s ping-pong match of dualistic thinking is what people finally die of. True.

It’s exhausting for the human being, but it’s not for egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate. Dualities feed ego. Without dualistic back and forth thinking, there is no illusion of a separate self called ego. Good to keep in awareness that being distracted by conditioned mind is the very best way NOT to be okay. Gassho

 

Having first experiences of listening to ego conversations without identifying. Sorta like eavesdropping on strangers :-) It’s illuminating to observe without participating! Mentor drops in a comical metaphor: EKC is a troll under a bridge, only scary if you believe it’s real. Wow, practice CAN be fun! Gassho. R/L

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Oh, so much good stuff in that! Yes, “watching” ego out of the corner of the eye is like listening in on strangers. It’s great to realize they are strangers, isn’t it!? Ego is like a troll under a bridge that is scary only if you believe it’s real. That says it all. As soon as we’re not identified with it, no longer believe it, it has NO POWER! Woo hoo, huh? Gassho

 

On the cushion a direct experience arose of ego/I depends on a “me” to feed it all day/night with “my” story, “my” opinions, judgments, assumptions, projections, beliefs. This non-stop feeding leaves little room for LIFE to guide the human. Wow! what an insight, not just an idea or concept, but a somatic realization leading towards freedom from suffering. Who cares about body degeneration now? R/L Gassho

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Another AMEN! And another Happy Dance for me, thank you very much! Glad you have that R/L practice so ego can’t make you lose that clarity. Gassho

 

I understand presence as our true refuge. I have trouble integrating the accepting environment of nature into the more chaotic environment of life. Sometimes I’m there. Then I’m distracted. If I’m aware I can pull myself back. If not, I’m off down the road of judgment, fear. Bad place. Gassho.

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Is the trouble with integrating the accepting environment of nature into the more chaotic environment of Life or of ego? Nature and Life are one, yes? Egocentric karmic conditioning/ self-hate is an illusion of separation from Life. People get caught up in conditioned mind, which fuels ego’s “doing.” Caught in programmed urgency, busyness, distraction, pressure, etc., a person is easily pulled into conditioned mind’s (ego’s) faux reality of fear and judgment. Very true. That’s why we must practice. Without developing the ability to direct attention in each moment we are indeed doomed to that “bad place.” Gassho

 

Basic compassion would be eight hours sleep every night. Historically, there hasn't been willingness for this, especially on weekends. Seeing ekcsh bring in "doing it right means doing it perfectly." R/L. Heart says do your best. What ARE you willing for tonight? 7.5? Ok, 10:30 bedtime it is. Gassho.

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The confusion here is that “you,” authentic human being, are making these choices. Ego has the “doing it right…” crapola going, Life doesn’t. The heart wants you to do your best, which means, “choose your heart.” Only ego is unwilling--ever. The heart wants far more for you than compassion that is “basic.” You know all this, right? What you’re closing in on is ending ego’s reign of terror. YOU, authentic human, get to choose for you. No negotiating with ego’s phony standards. Remember, ego does not give a flying fig about you doing it right or perfectly. Ego just wants to control the attention and keep you in suffering. Gassho

 

Your response extremely helpful. Emailing you brings clarity. Focus. Focus on the moment, focus on what I block out in calendar, focus on coach especially. When, if ever, is it okay to deviate from previously decided way to use my time? Gassho.

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You can do that right after you’ve lost all interest in deviating! Here’s the trick in that: Only ego is going to ask when it’s okay to let ego be in charge again. The answer to that is NEVER. When ego has no ability to influence you, when you’re so dialed in to Life’s guidance that you and Life operate as a unit, you’ll be ready to let Life choose your schedule/activities. Ego? Never. Gassho

 

I notice when I am experiencing joy, a thought of undeservedness; when experiencing pain, thought is recognition of sad identity, pretty convincing, has child's certainty. I don't like the concept of voices , scares my need for cohesion. But kid always wants to talk about her suffering.

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You’re describing egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate calling the shots. When you’re present and feeling joyful, attention goes to conditioned mind and the message received is “unworthy.” Then attention goes to pain and the message is, “Yes, this is who you are. This is right.” Sadness. Probably goes back to before you can remember. (Ego didn’t just join the party last week!) Ego doesn’t like the concept of voices, might cause you to question its position as “undisputed authority.” And, the more you watch the more you’re going to realize that “kid” is not a kid. That’s egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate masquerading as a kid. If you keep watching you’ll see telltale signs of child impersonation by a clever actor. Gassho

 

My husband cautions me to eat more carbs to gain weight saying I’m not robust enough for our annual bike ride abroad. The voices jumped on that one in a big way. I know fear is not the way. I’m fine. I will fearlessly trust my guidance. R/L Gassho

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Fear is not the way to robust health and wellbeing, but it is the way to feed ego, right? It gets you on one side of the duality and then tosses you over to the other. Fearlessly look to Life, to the Mentor, to keep you well. No voices! They give very bad advice! Gassho

 

After 48 hours of saying, "I'm choosing to (XYZ) (whatever is in the moment, I saw SO CLEARLY that I am choosing to not take my social security now! End of discussion, no duality from here. Might I choose differently next week? Yes, but that's not my concern from here.

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That’s the ticket! No conversation. Period. Intuition will guide us, not nattering and noodling. Might you get different information down the road? Of course. And you’ll respond then to whatever that is. That’s how we roll! Gassho

 

Blessedly, yes I've had experiences of dropping the conversation and finding peace!!!.. yet I also know from experience what a happy relationship feels like, and this ain't it lol. It feels addictive, like we both keep trying to quit and we're both stuck and can't quite let go. R/l gassho

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Well, might it be a happy relationship if you both were in it rather than trying to quit and believing you’re stuck addicts? Please read what your neighbor just got to. The content is about as different as content can get, but the process is exactly the same. Be where you are now, and if you get new information about that down the road, you can respond. Maybe the addiction is to the story of addiction? Maybe you’re not stuck but are where you are to be seeing and learning what you are seeing and learning? Gassho