I’ve been going overboard with gratitude lately. As soon as I heard a voice say gratitude was “too much” to do, I started doing it — I started really going there. I have five current gratitude lists (Technology, Friendships, Career, etc.) and a ton of recordings. I spend time each day training in gratitude. It is amazing that with concentrated effort the brain will adapt to a new normal of “thank you.” I find that gratitude is like a home base of presence throughout the day, which is why training in it feels so important. It’s like gratitude is becoming a new default. When times are good, they are really good…but then of course times are not always good.
But wait! In a sense, these past few weeks have actually revealed that all times are good. I noticed that the training in gratitude has resulted in an unexpected twist. The gratitude-colored glasses that Recording and Listening has helped this being develop see the rough patches and karmic flare-ups, too. I find myself happily and unexpectedly saying thank you for anything that will help this being return home. It sounds weird, but I find myself not wanting to avoid so-called rough patches. I don’t want to “get through" them or “defeat" them or any other nonsense. I was in an airport recently, dragged down a bit by travel, and an email communication from someone whom I respect greatly was snatched by the voices. The words were suddenly and powerfully interpreted to be about not belonging and being rejected and on and on. While the body started to react and the voices started to race, I kept repeating “thank you.” This is why this being practices. With gratitude as a context, all of life is welcomed. Thank you for this time that conditioning is hating. Thank you for the chance to get clearer about Authenticity. Thank you for the chance to take care. Thank you for the chance to see that this being is not ego.
I think part of the resistance ego had to Recording and Listening (at least from what I saw!) was a resistance to stepping forward and claiming a place in the continuity of practice. I never once “hated the sound of my voice,” but there was a push-back, an ego-brings-out-all-the-stops reaction to Recording and Listening because ego was confronted with audible proof that this being belongs — that this being practices. It seems like Recording and Listening works partly because to do it, we need to flip a switch from consuming and “taking in” practice (and waiting for someone else to save us) to investing in and participating in our own salvation diligently. All of this is to say that I’m grateful. I’m thankful for a practice and a Sangha and R/L technologies that help this being to be thankful!
Gassho,
Jeffrey